Trump Literally Hailed As Messiah By Maricopa ‘Auditor’

If it isn’t about him, he doesn’t care and can’t be bothered to learn.

I would say I can’t believe the Maricopa audit guy said something so totally fucked up but unfortunately I’m now 100% convinced x-tianity is the work of satan. There can be no other explanation for x-tian behavior since every day there is yet a new obscenity promulgated by those people.

I always wonder just what book the even jellies read. It certainly isn’t the bible.
First of all Jesus said, “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s” (translation ‘pay your taxes’)
He also said “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.” (in short, don’t run round claiming you’re holier than others)
Then there was the part where He said “You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures nor the power of God.”
Finally, someone needs to get them to understand that Jesus wasn’t a white, blue eyed, homophobic Murrican – He was a Semite from the Middle East who told people “Love your neighbour as yourself” – you know, one of those brown skinned guys that his ‘followers’ want to keep out of Murrica

I think he was fumbling the words because he thought they’d be reciting the new, blended Lord’s Prayer & Apostle’s Creed. You know, the one that goes:

Donald Trump
Who reigns from Mar A Lago
Hallowed be your name
Your kingdom returned to you,
and all your wishes and desires be fulfilled.

We believe Donald Trump is the one true President
God and his son Jesus are nothing compared to you
(We like Saviors who don’t get themselves crucified)
Your true omnipotent holiness was conceived by you
(Who else could conceive something so great and magnificent?)
Blessed by the Tee Vee preachers
And everyone’s duty is to praise you and send you money

You were cheated by the deep state and fake news
Driven from your rightful place in the White House
Criticized, but not destroyed and moved to Florida
From thence you will come to judge who are true believers,
And those who will suffer your wrath and be destroyed.

I believe in the one True Donald Trump as Ruler of the Universe
That God and Jesus were just posers and are beneath contempt
That Trump will triumphantly return to the Oval Office to rule all he sees
And that he will remain President Everlasting

For Trump does the world and everything and everyone in it exist
And all the power, glory and money in it are his forever.

Now granted all that is more than Trump could manage to memorize but I’m sure he knows enough of it to mumble a few parts. So, the confusion on his face when they are saying that “blasphemous” old-timey Lord’s Prayer shit is understandable. But he’s been catching a lot of hell, especially in the last week so he decided not to make a fuss and played along. After all, he literally takes names and contact info. on everyone at one of these gatherings and he was vowing to make sure to ensure every single person who recited what “Melanie” was reading gets fucked over bigly “in a couple of weeks.”

People in cults are not all stupidi or uneducated. In the cult I was in we had 6-8 Astro physicists from UC Berkeley. Not stupid. One used scripture to show the Big Bang – interesting presentation, but hell I was in the cult so I was impressed. Here’s the deal – 45 repersents something to the cultic. Don’t focus on him. Focus on what they want and what they think he can bring about. They’re racists. They want to be first. They don’t want any of their power or control to be taken from them (lies but most are white – right?) If their church says 45 is Jesus come back or will bring Jesus back – they’ll believe it. IMO, 45 is much closer to the anti-christ. But since I don’t believe the bible anymore – meh.

All I could think of looking at him was that he was pinching a loaf and hoping he wore the right sized Depends to contain it all.

Trump is the Antichrist.