Trump Is A Moron. For Treating Judge Cannon Like A Schmuck

Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I sleep?   William Shakespeare

Now granted, Trump is under the gun here. But the true test of the skills of either a top flight con man, or a top flight Lothario is how they come through in the clutch, when the mark has it’s antennae twitching. It’s that smooth, witty, coyly intimate that follows that tells whether or not you ride the horse out of the far turn and head to the finish line, or fall off at 100 mph on your ass.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. From what Trump’s press releases say, Traitor Tot is the greatest lover since Cyrano. Trump likes to compare himself to Valentino, and gleefully point out where Valentino screwed up. But if Trump’s weekend comments are any indication of the smoothness of his moves, every woman he’s ever snagged had her sights on his wallet. He’s like a husband who gets caught coming home with lipstick on his collar, then comes home the next night with a dozen roses, tosses them to his wife and says, There, here’s your flowers. Can I get off of the sofa now?

The subject of this grist is an interview that His Lowness gave to FUX News resident Trump groupie Maria Bartiromo. Recognizing a drowning man when she sees one, Maria the sycophant tried to throw FrankenTrump a lifeline, which he immediately let slip through his fingers, and sink to to bottom of the lake. The exchange went something like this;

Do you think that the judge in Florida will rule in your favor on Tuesday? I don’t know, I hope so. She’s a good judge, a smart judge, a strong judge But you elevated her to the bench. Yes I did, and I’m proud to have nominated her. She’s a smart judge, a strong judge, and, and she loves her country. She loves her country. And we need strong judges who love their country who are willing to make tough decisions.

Jesu’, give me strength. Why didn’t he just come right out and say, Aileen, honey, of course that dress doesn’t make you look fat. Bartiromo went to great lengths to give Trump a chance to whisper sweet nothings into Cannon’s ear, and instead El Pendejo Presidente launches into a goddamn stump speech. Damn! With moves like that, Trump couldn’t get lucky if he walked into a merchant sailors bar with a $100 bill clamped between his teeth.

Let’s just set the table here. Aileen Cannon was nothing more or less than one more anonymous name on a list of federal judicial candidates provided the The Mango messiah by The Federalist Society. She’s young, mid 30’s, had almost no legal experience, and only three criminal cases under her belt as an AUSA, only one as the prosecution lead. Nobody had to be more surprised than her when she got the word she was about to be elevated to the federal bench.

Of course Cannon would be grateful to her previously unknown beneficiary. And when the Trump legal team went judge shopping for his Special Master boondoggle, you can bet your ass that the Trump team managed to get a back door message that The Godfather had come to collect his favor. Which she thankfully promptly paid up.

And Lordy, Lordy, promptly paid the price. Judges are all judges. And when the appellate court has to overturn the ruling of another federal judge, they try to keep it as painless as possible. They quietly point out the judicial error and state We dissent. But not with judge Cannon. Not only did they heap scorn on the legal lack of standing of her rulings, they slapped down her thought processes, and questioned her qualifications. It was a WWE quality beatdown. And the national media was more than happy to run with it for days.

Judge Aileen Cannon took one for the team with Trump, but she is most definitely a bird of ruffled plumage. As boxer Mike Tyson famously said, Everybody has a plan when they get into the ring, until you get punched in the mouth. cannon took that punch in the mouth for Trump. She’s no longer the dewy eyed acolyte she was when he shopped her up the first time around.

Could Trump still turn Cannon around to give him one more shot at the gold ring? Possibly, but that would require skill, intuition, and a deft hand and mouth. But asking Trump to do that is the equivalent of asking a jackhammer operator to perform open heart surgery. Trump went into Bartiromo’s interview and treated Cannon the same as he has treated every other woman he has every tried to score. As a mark. Just another woman he can pull a smooth line on, use, and discard.

And while I may be wrong, I think those scales have long ago fallen from judge Cannon’s eyes. In setting a preliminary trial date for mid August, she sent the Trump team a message that she wanted this sh*t over and done with as soon as possible. It will be interesting to see how tomorrow goes, but it will be days, if not weeks. But if the ruling from the Georgia supreme Court against Trump today trying to get Fani Willis removed from his case is any lead, the judicial system has finally caught on to Trump. Don’t touch that dial.