You thought it couldn’t get stranger but wrong you were and wrong you will always be when you think that. There is no low they won’t go. Memorize that. Once you do and you understand that Donald Trump and his coterie will find a way to bottom the Gates of Hell itself, then nothing will surprise you. In today’s journey through the internet, a place which has always resembled the River Styx but never so much as since Elon Musk has purchased Twitter, we find that Trump is selling a relic of himself; to wit, a scrap of cloth from the suit that he wore when he was arrested in Atlanta, Georgia and the now-historic mug shot was taken.
Trump is selling this artifact for the low low price of $4,653.00 — and that includes his old digital trading cards and a brand new set of cards, featuring himself and his mug shot. Maybe if you’re lucky, one tweeter opined, you can get the piece of his suit that covered his butthole. Rank doth have its privileges and being a MAGA confers many unusual “honors.”
Holy fucking shit it’s a cult of Fucking stupids.
— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) December 12, 2023
Now there’s an heirloom for you. Most of us prize pieces of jewelry, perhaps an old leather chair that a patriarch of the family sat in, the classic pots and pans that great grandma made wonderful meals with. But added to that, MAGA world children will now see a scrap of cloth from some suit, somebody wore and it will be said, “And this is what Prezdent Trump wore when he was arrested, Rhonda May.” Won’t that be a wonderful thing to be passed down to new generations of MAGA?
Just by the by, you can purchase a Louis Vuitton or a Gucci bag for that kind of money and they will contain a serial number and be a guaranteed piece of merchandise. I wonder how many scraps of cloth were cut from the actual suit Trump wore? Yes, it would be ample, considering his size, but then again Trump claims to have 150 million supporters, and you know there wasn’t 150 million square inches of suit, amirite?
Meidas Touch reports that Trump stated
“I wish I looked as good as I do on those cards. That I can tell you. They give me muscles where, believe me, I don’t have them.”
They do indeed give him muscles, a chiseled jawline, no bags under the eyes, no vagina neck, and no Spongebob Squarepants fitting clothing that makes you wonder if he’s wearing a diaper, a colostomy bag or both.
There you have it, friends, this offering is “priceless.” Priceless and historical. Better than Trump Bucks, better than the gold bars that Trump is reportedly selling to his patriots.
Gotta do something to pay for all those attorneys
— Emphasize Truth (@EmphasizeTruth) December 12, 2023
Another beyond parody moment. We’ve had so many of them in the past seven years it’s hard to keep track. As P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” He also said, “Never give a sucker an even break,” and that’s Trump’s motto as well.
The burning question is: When will he be selling his used Depends?
This is a little off topic, I don’t remember all the details, but I recall an attempt a few years ago to cut up a lesser Van Gogh or Picasso into 1 inch squares to be sold for lesser amounts so that a thousand people could all say they had a framed Van Gogh/Picasso on their wall. People are strange.
I checked the MEARS website and the “priceless” description doesn’t really match what a legitimate authenticating service would use, especially for the kind of suit that Trump would typically wear. And, I don’t know. I can’t see MEARS wasting its time accepting this thin to be authenticated. And, Trump would have had to pay for this service. MEARS doesn’t do it for free–nor does any authenticating service. There is a submission form as well and the form clearly states “Payment must accompany” the item–and, yeah, Trump would’ve had to actually give the people the suit for them to authenticate/evaluate.
It would be interesting if the good folks at MEARS were asked for their opinion on how they went through the process of authenticating this “artifact” and how they determined it was more “priceless” than any of the many pieces of memorabilia–especially those items worn by REAL stars–they’ve previously authenticated and priced. (It’s probably a safe bet that Trump’s lying but the company should be alerted that Trump’s using their name and putting their reputation on the line.)
To actually have any meaning, every piece of cloth sold would need to be authenticated as coming from THAT one suit.
More stupid trading cards?! Let him put this super hero pic on a card.
I’m more than surprised he hasn’t been selling 1″ squares of white and red Chinese cotton as being from his shirt and his tie.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that – it might just seep through to his remaining brain cells
To all who purchase former guy’s trash I extend an invitation to you. I have an interesting real estate opportunity for you and only you. I have some fantastic ocean-front properties as well as a historic bridge and you won’t believe the low, low prices I’m charging. It’s a real steal just like the trash you’re purchasing from mango man.