My blood pressure is elevating just reading this all-caps drivel, I can only imagine what Donald Trump’s is doing. I can see him now, veins on forehead and neck sticking out, tiny thumbs smashing into the phone, one or more aides crushing valium into his Diet Coke and begging him to chill out before he has a stroke.
We can only infer that he spoke with his lawyers Sunday morning, which makes perfect sense since he’s scheduled — or was — to take the stand again Monday in the Trump Organization fraud trial. Two schools of thought on that: One, Alina Habba was accused of breaching client-attorney privilege the other day for revealing that she counseled Trump not to testify. And of course she spun it that Trump is so “incredibly intelligent” and so deeply in the right in this matter, that he was going to get on the stand and set the record straight once and for all, because he’s that kind of a guy. But something changed and bigly and in just the past few hours.
I don’t know about you, but I can feel my heart start to pound. Or, maybe it’s just because I’m laughing too hard. And it continues.
And he wasn’t quite finished yet. He had to go back to the Perry Mason Moment That Wasn’t.
Alright class, stop laughing now, because we’re going to analyze this latest digital projectile vomiting of Trumpty Dumpty. First and most obvious, he says nothing here that we haven’t heard before countless times. It’s the same old argument. Yes, we know Mar-a-Lago is worth more than all the castles in Europe combined and that the pool house alone is bigger and better than Buckingham Palace. So we have heard, ad nauseum. We get it.
And I doubt that the NYU professor, he who hasn’t prepared a financial statement from the 80’s, said that he would give Trump an A. But you can’t blame Trump for wanting to have another Person Woman Man Camera TV moment. I mean, that’s pretty heady stuff, to be able to pass a cognitive test, so of course, he would want yet another such intoxicating moment. Passing an accounting test would surely qualify as one.
Let’s just use Occam’s Razor. Most probably Trump was willing to take the stand again because he saw it as his chance to pontificate and make the judge and the trial look back. His lawyers saw the obvious, which was that the chances of him perjuring himself were virtually guaranteed. So they advised him against it, but he persisted, no, I’m gonna be a big shot. And then somebody explained to him about perjury and he finally had to give up his dream. I think it’s as simple as that.
He is definitely scared. He can repeat his weak, specious, makeweight arguments until his thumbs fall off his hands, but he’s still going to end up with a hefty fine and being thrown out of business in New York State. And this is only the beginning.
The truth of how sublimely phuqued he is, is being to dawn on Trumpty.