Holy Joseph McCarthy, Batman! Did you know that Big Bird was a commie? Better get his yellow feathered butt on a blacklist tout suite. But while this is news to the likes of you and me, Newsmax says they figured it out a long time ago. Here’s that bloviating idiocy, straight from the parallel universe that is right-wing media.
"Sesame Street are a bunch of communists" pic.twitter.com/zex6gPKQyi
— Jason Campbell (@JasonSCampbell) November 8, 2021
Charlie Pierce held forth on this debacle and it is sublime as you would expect. Esquire:
Because I am a man of Christian charity whose heart is forever bursting with concern for my fellow man, I would like to begin the week by saying that I have grown concerned about Tailgunner Ted Cruz, the Republican senator from the great state of Texas. Frankly, on its way off the rails, I think his trolley has gone around the bend.
He had quite a weekend. First, he picked a fight with Big Bird…and lost. Le grand oiseau proclaimed that he had received his COVID vaccination. From the Guardian:
My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy. [CNN reporter] Erica Hill even said I’ve been getting vaccines since I was a little bird. I had no idea!”
Over the past year or so, the Tailgunner has taken on a second career as a Twitter troll, and he is the worst Twitter troll I have ever read. This is not a matter of ideology. This is a matter of The Funny, and the Tailgunner could not find The Funny with a flashlight, two guard-dogs, and the ghost of George Carlin to show him the way. That said, this United States Senator decided that a public-health message from a large yellow puppet was something up with which he would not put.
Cruz responded: “Government propaganda … for your 5 year old!”
I feel stupid even mentioning this, but the Sesame Street gang has been dishing out comforting medical knowledge like this for decades. (There even was a West Wing bit about how the Muppets came to the White House so Mrs. Dr. Bartlett could give Elmo a shot.)
Big Bird might have gone to the White House then, and he could probably go back there now, but if any of the GOPers see him, he’ll be oiseau flambe l’orange and Forrest Gump will be picking up his feathers. The MAGAs simply can’t handle this and they’ve got to declare war on communist puppets. Political drama American Style, circa 2021 A.D. (After Donald)
Next up on “Sesame Street,” the Count:
“Hello, children. I’m counting idiotic Republicans in the Congress. Can you help me?
One. One idiotic Republican. Ha, ha, ha!
Two. Two idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Three. Three idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Four. Four idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Five. Five idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Two hundred sixty. Two hundred sixty idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Two hundred sixty-one. Two hundred sixty-one idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Two hundred sixty-two. Two hundred sixty-two idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Two hundred sixty-three. Two hundred sixty-three idiotic Republicans. Ha, ha, ha!
Two hundred sixty-fo–? What? What? That’s it!? I’m done? Ooooh!
I’m sorry, children. I’ve never had to count that high. I should have quit laughing long ago. There is nothing funny about idiotic Republicans.”
I forgot about formatting here. I was inserting some “stage directions” using the “arrow brackets” and so some of the humor got lost.
After the “Five idiotic Republicans” bit, I had a line about “two hours later; the Count’s voice is raspy and his laughter’s basically gasps of air” and after the “Ooooh!” I had a line about “Count faints” followed by “A few seconds later, the Count’s arm comes up, followed slowly by his head and body.”
I’m not quite sure why the final bit displayed as a hyperlink. I don’t remember doing anything different there.
This software doesn’t lend itself to fancy formatting. It’s a flaw I may address down the road. But your creativity is appreciated. :))
Angle brackets confuse it. Use square or curly instead.
Goebbles is behind the whole thing & has betrayed the nazi party by joining Lenin, Stalin, & Trotskey, none of whom are really dead, nor quite sincerely dead. Joe Mccarthy has been in hiding, but THANK GOD ALMIGHTY that great American will come out of his secret bunker under trump’s golf resort in New Jersey. Big bird will be served at Thanksgiving along with stuffing, mashed taters & gravy. We’ll celebrate by drinking the tears of those godless democrats. God Bless the Real America, us white folks.
Why is cruz being called “the tailgunner”? Did I miss his service to our country in the military? No. I don’t think I did. The man is about as sniveling a coward as former guy so referring to him in such a way is ridiculous. Cancun makes sense as does sweaty Teddy given that constant sheen he has but tailgunner? No way.
I thought it was just a way of saying Cruz resembles McCarthy (Joe, not Kevi, though in different ways he resembles both.)
Joseph McCarthy on LSD.
He wouldn’t have the guts to take LSD.