One could accuse avid straightriot, lover of women, Bible reader and mall Santa Gary Petersen of many things, and, believe me if you peruse his Twitter threads he has been accused of almost everything… but never accuse him of not being a serious artist, I mean just look at that likeness of the Orangeutan and his lovely escort – the likenesses are simply remarkable!
Following Gary Peterson on Twitter has profoundly changed my life, challenging everything I thought I knew about art, life, family and now… religion.
His latest work, which I consider his pièce de résistance, has me rethinking my profound skepticism of the Orthodox faiths:
When Don Jr. saw my piece dedicated in his honor, he knew it was his calling as the modern Son of Man to spread the good news that America is reborn! pic.twitter.com/sMnnAGEjfw
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 30, 2023
But, as John Quincy Adams O’Toole said all those years ago – “When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him”…
Kathy Bates is gonna be pissed.
— Shawn Patterson (@shawnmpatterson) January 31, 2023
And that can’t be good!
Nothing because Frankie Avalon wasn’t born yet.
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 30, 2023
🤣🤣🤣
That's not Donald pretending to be a virgin — it's Lindsey Graham.
— Donald M. Solomon (@dsolomonesq) January 31, 2023
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣omg! Even God and Jesus must be crying from laughing so hard!
— Anatya L ☮️ (@Anatya77) January 31, 2023
But, but, Peterson is a serious artist!
Is “doña trumpis”and babycokehead.
— oscar lara (@oscarinelara75) January 31, 2023
😆
But enough of the critics! Let’s get to know more about the man himself…
Proud to see my work getting the respect it deserves from one of our nation’s greatest thinkers! pic.twitter.com/wt3q6M7dPv
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 31, 2023
Yup
My son's two favorite things are The Golden Child and America's prince Eric Trump, so I'm glad I could make him this gift that is perfect for his wall! pic.twitter.com/1WLh2SlrRu
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 31, 2023
You must be a proud papa, Gary!
We Patriots are very strict about MDs, which requires at least 7 minutes of diagnosing every illness as “vaccines did it.” https://t.co/Aam4nLN762
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 30, 2023
Yup
Everyone wants a little Gary! I overheard two girls at Montgomery Ward say they’d switch their votes to President Trump after seeing my inspiring artwork. https://t.co/b8NeGFLKHc
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 29, 2023
👍👍👍
Perfect father son day at the #TrumpRally where I continue to wear my diapers in protest till the liberal media treats us like adults!
Thank goodness President Trump stands with us and makes us #DiaperStrong. pic.twitter.com/f3t3xZbtMR
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 28, 2023
My hero!
Even Tomi Lahren recognizes the powerful combination of honey mustard and our church band Shifty Nelson & The Dixieland Scooters! pic.twitter.com/j3IqtLPOdA
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 27, 2023
Can’t wait to catch you all at my local lanes!
Andy Griffith knew how to keep our streets safe by shoving punks in a cell with pie up their ass if they showed disrespect. pic.twitter.com/U18q2a3XjX
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 22, 2023
Lol, Barney got much better looking.
George Burns would teach all these humorless wokesters today to crack a smile or else his cigar will be put out on their ass! pic.twitter.com/oE077etV3s
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 20, 2023
Yes, yes he would, Gary 👍
I can’t talk. Antifa is in the room with me right now. I can hear them behind the walls, watching me and laughing as I undress. https://t.co/IieCfABnuW
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 22, 2023
Run Gary!
Haha “stoke season” sure is a dumb term!
Anyway hopefully a quick search and a talk with a doctor wouldn’t verify that chances of a stroke can increase with cold weather.
Otherwise we Patriots will look dangerously fucking stupid. https://t.co/cdqEa2CNW9
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 22, 2023
Yup
Obviously the annoying headache and fatigue that comes with the jab! At least those in our church who got Covid got to meet Jesus sooner. https://t.co/VOlaLTh6yN
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 22, 2023
Amen
People say it’s the outstanding rapture action that brings us to Kevin Sorbo’s Left Behind, but really, it’s the subtlety. pic.twitter.com/uSUuowaH14
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 29, 2023
Yup
Kevin Sorbo doesn’t need your woke Oscars, as I was honored to present him with his 12th consecutive Gary! pic.twitter.com/Cm5i96hrIg
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 24, 2023
What an honor!
Wokesters thinks we’re being a Fake Christian just for quoting Christ’s famous saying: “fine, if we can’t kill them, we’ll fucking torture them instead.” pic.twitter.com/qK9arSu0MA
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 29, 2023
Yup
Even Jesse Watters is a fan of my art and is ready to order at least 12 pieces for his favorite intern! pic.twitter.com/BhxaVZ7n6p
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) January 29, 2023
Jesse is gonna have to get in line behind me, straightriot.
I can’t wait for your next work!
Dino, what is this guy? Other than “pseudo” everything? And if he’s supposed to be a portrait artist—-well, he’s a bad one!
Also, where in the Bible did Jesus-called-Christ preach, “Fine, if we can’t kill them, we’ll fucking torture them instead”???
After reading this post, I think Petersen is mocking the Rs something fierce.
What would give you that idea?
🤣🤣🤣
either he’s trolling or he needs serious meds. but I think the MAGA crowd is too thick to know when they are being played, so it is wasted effort if that’s what it is.
In the Beastitudes I think.
That’s not the real Jesus. That’s a timely quote from Our Republican Lord and Savior Jesus®️.
Its a curious thing that so many human brains tethered to the planet by gravity have become so delusional. There just aren’t enough locked psychiatric wards to treat them. Cyanide grape juice all around. Then the rest of us may have a shot at believing that good will someday triump over evil.
His ‘art’ does capture the essence of Dimwit Donny’s obesity quite well.
Anything else, much less so.
Everything he does is a joke. It’s got to be. But…..doing the joke seriously has the RW thinking it’s real. Plus……he got this diary – right?
His Andy Griffith looks like Tpom Selleck. His George Burns looks like Paul Lynde. And his TFG for look like Lindey graham, except in the Madonna oe, which looks likea constpated TFG (althoug I can’t be sure, since that’s apparently the one thing he never is.)
His George Burns is a dead-on rendering of “Uncle Miltie”, aka Milton Berle, so good as to be a (gasp!) PHOTO…
Pretty sure that is a photo.
It took me a while to figure out what was going on, I had to go back and re-read all his tweets to see that his tongue is firmly in cheek. This guy is a character! His Andy Griffith is Barney Miller’s Hal Linden. His George Burns is Milton Berle. The only one he did a genuine likeness of was Queen of Frown, Melanoma, although the Virgin looks more like dumph than the grinning idiot he portrays next to Melanoma. And I sincerely hope that isn’t his son in two of those pictures. He looks like he could be the next school mass shooter.
They live among us. How terrifying!
I love this guy. We have very similar beliefs in our fiery love of America.
One example, not enough people talk about Eric. Sure Don Jr. is dashingly handsome and Ivanka is so amazing she should be married to her father the savior. But Eric is clearly the Golden Child and we all need to respect that.
But my main agreement is MTG should be broadcast in every school in every democracy on the planet. Have you seen your kids textbooks lately? I am disgusted by my sons books. There is so much filth, I can’t even hold them.
Thank you Good Sir Gary as you verbalize every thing I’m thinking!
Hell, quick look I thought it was trump and little Nicky. Then I was thinking girl off 24. The original one. Oh well. Getting old I guess.