GOPers and troglodytes of all ages, here’s your chance to be the first MAGAt on your block to be the last MAGAt on your block. The Trump campaign, headed up by Brad Parscale, at least for now, is selling tickets to Trump’s kickoff MAGA rally on Juneteenth, Emancipation Day, in Tulsa, Oklahoma and if his claims are correct, there’s not going to even be breathing room only, which in the middle of a pandemic, gives one pause.

First it was 200K, then it swelled within hours to 300K, and folks, this is no small feat in a venue that holds less than 20K. I mean, this is dozens of times capacity, so people will either stand in line outside, from the stadium all the way to the Gulf of Mexico, or stack up like cord wood to skyscraper heights, or hey, I like this one: could it be that the stadium is like the tardis in Dr. Who and looks small from the outside but once you’re inside there’s a dimensional shift that takes place and it’s yuuuge? That’s it.

Or, could it be that Brad Parscale is drumming up interest in this event to a fever pitch, because he knows that only a small percentage who register to come will actually show, but the more people you get to register, the more names, email addresses and cell phone numbers you get, and you create marketing lists which you then sell. Ya think? Could they be bullshitting the base to get their money? Nahhhh. Only an evil Democrat would think that way.

I think Parscale should book in the population of Dallas. So far this situation is getting so damn nutty and far fetched as to resemble a sub plot in a Douglas Adams novel. These figures are something that would pilot the improbability drive for several chapters. How many people, and their robots, will end up attending the MAGA rally at the end of the universe? At the end of the Trumpverse, in all events. Won’t it be grand to watch it go nova. Stay tuned.

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1 COMMENT

    • Oh, that’s right. Trump hires extras to show up at his rallies. He did that since his first glide down the escalator. That slipped my mind.

  3. As a Tulsan I am busy stocking up on non-perishable essentials so I can go out as seldom as possible after this clusterf*ck. We have pretty low covid numbers right now but that will change after this idiocy.

    • Do you have a sense for how many MAGAts there are in Tulsa? The population is only 400,000 and how many people are going to travel from far away? I just don’t see this as anywhere even near what the hype is.

      • Oklahoma is the reddest state in the nation right now, I am sure they will be driving in from all over. I would not doubt 100-150000 showing up.

        • Right. Which means they then drive home to the rest of Oklahoma, plus probably Texas, and Arizona, and New Mexico, and Kansas, and Missouri, and Arkansas, and on and on. Sounds like a perfect plan.

      • Trump got 144,000 votes in Tulsa COUNTY in 2016. He got 950,000 in the entire state, so this is nearly a third of the people who voted for him there. On the other hand, I keep seeing on Twitter that people’s 14-year-old son who lives 2,000 miles away registered along with his friends and a lot of people are signing up their cats.

        But yeah, it’s surely about harvesting emails and phone numbers. Today I got a call from a nice young man named James who identified himself as being from Cuyahoga County for Trump. He asked if I was interested in helping out the campaign. I’m sure he got my number from one of the numerous surveys I’ve filled out telling Trump exactly what I think of his policies. I told him very politely that I was looking for a candidate who wasn’t racist and sexist, and that Donald Trump didn’t reflect my views on that. He wished me a nice day and I wished him one. He’ll need it in Cuyahoga County which will probably go 70% for Biden at least.

    • Smartest move you could make, Batch. As someone who remains holed up in his place of residence until a reputable vaccine or cure lands, I’d suggest you do the same until the latter event as well

    • You know, I keep saying that that is exactly what I would do if I lived in Tulsa. I’d make sure that I stocked up for a couple of months and then kept my ass at home.

  4. Well, what’s going to happen to all those folks who made plans to be in Tulsa on the 19th only to find out Trump has changed the date to the 20th?

    That’s right. An AP news story on AOL says “Trump tweeted late Friday, “Many of my African American friends and supporters have reached out to suggest that we consider changing the date out of respect for this Holiday.” (I wonder who those “many African-American friends and supporters” are? They can’t be GOPers because Black GOPers don’t care about silly things like Juneteenth; they’re too busy trying to be remotely relevant as either Blacks or GOPers. Remember Michael Steele? The first Black GOP Chairman who got dumped after just one term as Chairman despite overseeing the GOP takeover of the House in 2010 while his successor, white Reince Preibus, saw losses pretty much across the board in 2012 and just barely held on in 2014.)

    So, those 200K–nay, 300K–supporters/brain-dead fans are going to what? Spend an extra night in Tulsa? Good luck finding available hotel rooms. The 19th is a Friday while the 20th is a Saturday (maybe that’s why Pascale upped the numbers).

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