The comedy is ramping up as right-wingnuttia contemplates the apparition of Donald Trump showing up for arrest and booking Thursday. As stated before, the booking aspect of this makes Georgia different. This is more real somehow, the fact that a mugshot will actually be taken. That makes this grittier, more raw. Don Bongino has a way to show them, though. He wants to call Fani Willis’s bluff. He wants Trump to refuse bail, have the Secret Service clear out the place (not sure of the particulars of that) and let Trump become a guest of Fulton County, Georgia.
The obvious comedy in this is the idea that Trump could spend one night in a place where he doesn’t have a Diet Coke valet made available by pushing a buzzer. Unless they let him put Walt Nauta in the next cell and set up a McDonald’s delivery route with Uber. Ya spose? And what about the toilet? Can he bring in a gold toilet? Because hey, man, you don’t expect Trump to use just anybody’s toilet, now do you? He’s a germophobe, what part of that don’t they get?
The funny part of this “plan” he’s floating for Trump to remain in jail and refuse to post bond to prove a point is that they actually believe their soft, pampered, weak hero could handle a single day in jail. pic.twitter.com/f4yAluVHTQ
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 23, 2023
Personally, I’m all for it. Trump in jail awaiting trial is the most howlingly funny thing that I can conceive of. This is a man who didn’t like moving to the White House because he had to do a lot of traveling and stay at places other than his hotels. He didn’t like that. And I don’t think the Fulton Jail is a five stars establishment, do you?
— GroundChuck (@BlueJock) August 23, 2023
Mileage does vary.
This would be Trumpty’s chance at martyrdom, hands down. Think of it, The Apprentice: Jailbird. Maybe he could take a crew in and be filmed working in the laundry, or checking books out from the jail library, or playing basketball with the “bulls” out in the yard. And the bulls could show him how to distill rubbing alcohol through bread and make prison moonshine, all kinds of useful things. And of course, Trump being Trump, the dynamic entrepreneur that he is, he’d have the Fulton Jail Moonshine brand on the New York Stock Exchange in a couple of weeks, right?
And let’s see how long the Secret Service would want to hang around. I don’t wish a moment’s discomfort to any of those people, but going from an assignment in five star hotels and country clubs to hanging out in a cell has got to be a major drag, to say the least.
And it goes without saying that Trump could write a bestseller from the slammer. He could call it My Struggle or something like that. And maybe translate that into German, like zeitgeist or schadenfreude. Oh, damn, the title Mein Kampf has already been taken! Shit! Hey, wait….we can still save this…”Drumf’s Kampf” could be the title. Drumf is the family name in German and Drumf’s Kampf has a catchy ring to it, doncha think?
And I’m not even going to ask about Melania and conjugal visits. As it stands, she stays in Trump Tower when he’s in Bedminster, anyway.
A hunger strike also, to make the point.
— Roberto Roig (@RobertoRoig) August 23, 2023
A hunger strike is a great idea. Then they can force feed Trump and Ron DeSantis can come in and laugh at it. Hell of a photo op in that, no question. Or, alternatively, Trump can lose all that excess blubber and set himself up for The Apprentice: GQ Model.
So many ideas, so many possibilities, which one will Herr Drumf choose?
So many thoughts come to mind! Your suggestion of him creating some kind of moonshine and listing it on the stock exchange isn’t bold enough. This is Trump. HE would be marketing “TRUMP TOILET WINE” It would of course be the very best toilet wine (made in real used by actual prisoners 14k gold toilets!) ever made.
And of course a new ghost written book: TRUMP “golden” Letters From Fulton County Jail. (again this is Trump – sure he’d be ripping off MLK but he’d damned sure put the name Trump in the title)
Speaking of ripoffs, he could get some country crooner to do a cover of Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues, titled Trump Fulton Jail Blues.
Mostly though I think of the fury he’d feel that someone would suggest HE be the one to go to jail. As Jan. 6 proved THAT is what MAGAs are for! That he should sit in a jail even for a single night instead of one of them, that some of them would start thinking he should “lead by example” just might send him into a heart attack inducing RAGE. I’d be cool with that except I want him to live long enough to actually have to spend time in, and hell yes die in a cell.
If incarcerated Mango Man would be a new ‘Jail Apprentice’ in his own ‘Situation Cell’ where he’s forced to watch continuous reruns of his doppelgänger in the OG Apprentice series, but only to a continuous torment of a sound loop; something along the lines of ‘Those were your days, my cell friend, and you thought they’d never end …”
I wrote a comment on another article about my time in the penitentiary. Unless he goes to some type of cushy club med federal playground called jail…he stands no chance. State prisons and even county jails are dangerous, dirty places full of violent men. Some are truly crazy. Others are full of rage and looking for victims to entertain themselves. I had my life threatened daily for four months by people I knew I may have to fight, maybe to the death of one of us. Luckily, I never had to go to battle due to alliances, luck, and my case gaining attention so the parole board let me out as soon as they could. I still have their letter of apology. That being said, when you go to a real penitentiary YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. If you exhibit weakness or fear, you’re toast. If you act like a bada$$, a real bad man or men will show you who the real killers are. If you shoot your mouth off, adios. All these soft aholes talking about real jails, have never been sentenced to one. FACT. Baby huey wouldn’t survive, and there aren’t enough secret service agents to protect him indefinitely. They could get hurt or killed themselves. Fact.