The quest for Kevin McCarthy’s replacement has begun to resemble MGM’s quest in the late 30’s to find an actress to play Scarlett O’Hara. That was an exhaustive search. Joan Crawford and Bette Davis were considered, mind bogglingly. So was Claudette Colbert. And would you believe Lucille Ball was up for the part? Finally, Laurence Olivier’s wife, another British thespian who had done a few movies, Vivian Leigh, was chosen and the rest is history.

In like turn the candidates for GOP House Speaker have run the gamut from Jim Jordan to Tom Emmer, from Byron Donalds to Jack Bergman, from Austin Scott to Kevin Hern. They even considered letting Patrick McHenry run the show until January 3, when something miraculous was supposed to have changed and made Jim Jordan into an acceptable human being and not a molester protector, conspiracy theorist and insurrectionist who did his best to overthrow the government in 2021. But take a look at who they’ve found now. And before you do, bear in mind H.L. Mencken’s famous line, “For every complex problem there is an answer which is clear, simple and wrong.”

And if the name Mencken isn’t ringing a bell with you, he’s the gent who predicted Donald Trump when he said,

“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

Now we know that this prophecy also extends to the House Of Representatives, whuuda thot?

Now here’s a thought: The QAnon Shaman could run for Senate as a Republican. He could move to Utah and run for Mitt’s seat, isn’t that a swell idea? This is perfect timing. And John Fetterman relaxed the dress code, so the Shaman will fit right in. Perfect. You see how these things work? Kismet, that’s what it is. Republican kismet.

You see? The man’s got experience in government. While other were making caa caa on the marble floors, he was sitting in the seat of power, getting the feel of things. I mean, let’s face it, he doesn’t have any less relevant experience than Lauren Boebert or Marge Greene, right? And they’re coming up for third terms.

You know my mantra, there is no low they won’t go. His name is Jacob Chansley and if you see him on a ballot with an R behind his name, you’ll know I was right.

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6 COMMENTS

  2. Oh FFS what madness will this deluded person bring to the GOP MAGA Trumbie table? Whatever it is, it’ll end up being a box of gift wrapped gunpowder for exclusive use by Democrats against Republicans. It’ll be a self inflicted political injury, if this scenario were to materialise.

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  3. He does have some positive attributes. He’s more articulate than junior, a.k.a., frosty the snowman, or Natasha, the mannequin. He has better makeup than baby huey. He clearly has a vocabulary beyond mad, bad, sad, and glad. He dresses better than gymbag. He brings his own ride, so that saves taxpayers. He’s clearly male, so that gets gaetz off his back literally and figuratively. He honors the Buffalo. He’s already half naked so he’s got boobert’s uh ‘attention’. He’s familiar with the law. He limits himself to two and one half minutes, which is about the limit of the average republican attention span, or the length of time McConnell blankly stares into space when asked his name. He’s not dead like Grassley. He seems genuinely and terribly terribly concerned like Collins. Come to think of it, if he moves to Utah, maybe he can find those golden plates the glassy eyed Mormons believe in. A win all around. Yep. He’s the man behind the curtain.

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  4. Will he be wearing the outfit while running for Mitten’s seat? That ought to win him some votes from people wearing their special underwear.

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  5. I know this was meant as satire, but it could happen.
    Though I think House rules say something about excluding people with felony convictions.
    I guess Chansley will have to settle for POTUS.

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