From former First Lady of San Francisco to internet shill. That is some voyage. We will have to ask Kimberly Guilfoyle how she managed to do it. It’s akin to starting out as the manager of the bank and ending up selling hotdogs at the stand outside of it. And let’s face it, Gavin Newsom has a good shot at being the next Democratic president, and where will Kim be then? Cleaning off Don Junior’s rail mirror in the morning, so she can hold it under his nose to see if he’s still breathing?
The last Guilfoyle shill was steaks, as you may recall. And Don Junior was going to get into the insurance business for a while. I wonder what happened with that? I recall reading a post on Truth Social about “why buy insurance from woke companies when you can buy from a company that reflects your values,” or words to that effect?
Cousin t's conservative grifting pancakes are $10 a box and you have to buy 2. I pay $2.19 for a box of food Lion blueberry pancakes mix LMFAO pic.twitter.com/CMQT2IAYTp
— Donald Bump Jr. ™ (@donjr69420) December 24, 2023
So Cousin T (is that Uncle Tom’s cousin T, or Mr. T’s cousin T, or somebody else? Just asking) is selling his mix for $20 a pop more or less, and you have to buy two, meaning $40. Well, that’s a hell of a deal if you’ve been buying from Jim Bakker. His stuff costs $60 a bucket. What’s that you say? Is the bucket made of lead, so as to protect from radioactivity? This is apocalyptic survival food after all. Gee, dunno. Good question. Maybe Kim and Cousin T could dream up a marketing strategy around that.
They have a MAGA shopping channel, I am given to understand. Give Donald Trump and his relatives all your money. They need it more than you do. And this photo has been giving rise to pancake cracks.
What is with Guilfoyle? She’s a frustrated fashion model? She wants to be the MAGA earth model sex goddess? She’s lost her marbles, ala Norma Desmond — whom she’s coming to resemble more and more as time goes on? Here she is, ready for her close up, Mr. DeMille.
There you have it, friends. Your chance to get into the patriotic pancake business. And if that doesn’t work, the communist crepe business might. Or maybe even Bolshevik blintzes. There’s got to be a buck out there somewhere, right?
Sad. Pathetic. If you’re going for the tits and ass sales pitch, sell a bigger ticket item than pancake mix. What’s next? Serving sausage biscuits out of a food truck at Trump rallies wearing pasties and a thong? How the privileged debase themselves!
“She’s lost her marbles, ala Norma Desmond — whom she’s coming to resemble more and more as time goes on?”
I’m thinking she’s looking more like NORA Desmond, Carol Burnett’s sketch comedy version of the character.
She would make more money selling virtual lap dances to the maga faithful.
I think her next gig will be soft core porn. Melanoma can give her tips.