Jim Jordan Is A Moron. And I Hope He Gets His Wish

You know, every time I see Gym Bag Jordan humiliate himself by trying to be a committee Chair, and looking like a kid in his daddy’s suit and shoes, it keeps reminding me of the classic line in Jimmy Breslin’s iconic The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight. Breslin’s character, mobster “Kid Sally” Palumbo is in a mob war, and has three dead bodies on his side. Breslin said Down 3-0 in the bottom of the 1st, Kid Sally was willing to bunt to get to first base.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jim Jordan. This whole Weaponization of the federal government subcommittee clatter and prattle was supposed to be his ticket to superstardom in the GOP, and in Traitor Tot’s eyes. And he played it to bone in pre release advertising.

But in real life it has been a debacle. Jordan is a bomb thrower, not an organization man, he’s never even read the House rules, much less Roberts Rules of Order. And as a result his planning in whimsical and almost childish, not only do his whistleblower witnesses fold like a card table, the Democrats on the panel take him over the falls for his organizational stupidity.

But finally, finally Jordan thought he had a winning horse to ride home to the winners circle. And that thoroughbred’s name was Alvin Bragg. When Jordan heard that Bragg was planning on indicting The Mango Messiah, he immediately sent a threatening letter to Bragg, demanding he forward documents and evidence, and appear before his committee.

Bragg told Jordan to pound sand. A Manhattan DA’s case belonged in Manhattan, and Jordan had no truck getting all up in his business. After all, there is such a thing as states rights. So Jordan sent another, more strident letter, threatening a subpoena, and Bragg flipped him double barrel birds.

What does Jordan do now? Even Jordan knows when to fold a losing hand, but he had already tiptoed out to the edge of the flagpole. What does his dumb ass do now?

Of course, of COURSE! Marc Pomerantz to the rescue. Pomerantz is legendary in New York law. Both a former prosecutor as well as a former defense attorney, Pomerantz literally wrote the books on both sides of the state’s RICO statute. Then Manhattan DA Cyrus Vance brought him in to be his expert in his criminal RICO investigation against Trump.

But then Vance retired, and new Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg took over. And Bragg was nowhere near as enthusiastic about prosecuting Trump that Vance and Pomerantz were. An so Pomerantz quit publicly, releasing his bitchy resignation letter to the media, and then wrote an unauthorized book venting his spleen.

Finally! Jordan’s Knight in shining amour! Here’s a bitter ex employee with an exe to grind with Cyrus Vance. Who better to dish the dirt on Bragg than Pomerantz? Jordan Sent Pomerantz a letter in March, politely asking him to voluntarily appear before the committee. Pomerantz equally politely blew him off. And so Jordan jumped the shark, and issued a subpoena instead.

Which just goes to show what a total imbecile Jordan can be when he puts his mind to it. His simple MAGA brain sees that Vance hired Pomerantz, Bragg came in, Pomerantz had a bitter break up with Bragg, nastily resigned, and then wrote a tattletale book. Who better to tell a congressional panel and hopefully a national audience what a politicized and incompetent moron Bragg is?

*Sigh* Not only has Jordan never read House committee procedural rules, and not read Roberts Rules of Order, but he apparently never even thumbed through Pomerantz’s book either! Because if he had, issuing a subpoena for Marc Pomerantz is the last thing on earth Jordan would have done.

Because in his book, Pomerantz lays it all out. Under Vance, the team was just about ready to drop the hammer on Trump, but Vance didn’t feel right about getting indictments, and then leaving the newbie Bragg to prosecute a case he was unfamiliar with. When Bragg took over, Pomerantz immediately wanted him to lock-and-load with indictments, including RICO charges. When Bragg demurred, Pomerantz left in a huff.

Get that? Marc Pomerantz thinks that His Lowness is guilty of even more sh*t than Bragg is charging, and that they had the goods to prove it. And now this brainless toad wants to call a guy who thinks Trump’s getting off easy to come in and testify before his kangaroo court.

If I’m every Democratic member on that committee right now, I am quietly contacting Pomerantz and asking him to show and testify. Because none of the MAGAt mouth breathers are going to lay a finger on Pomerantz, and he can always claim ongoing investigation and prosecution to avoid any uncomfortable questions. And every Democrat on the panel will use him to take Trump over the falls for his myriad of sins.

To close, Gyn Bag Jordan is a world class idjit. But I gotta say this, if his delusional self want’s to drag Marc Pomerantz in front of that committee to kick Jordan’s ass? I’d pay to watch that hearing.