Can it possibly get any more stupid? I don’t know, but I fear we’re about to find out. In the classic movie Grumpy Old Men, Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon play lifelong neighbors, and former friends who now blame each of everything, and live only to one-up each other. This Trump-DeSantis matchup is looking like the remake Dumpy Old Man Meets Whiny, Snotty Brat. Box office gold.
Here’s what I mean. We all know that there’s only one Trump, or as the old ad used to say, Often imitated. You’ve had idiots running for the Senate, the House, and even Governorships who have all claimed to be Trumpier than Trump! There has been Trump in high heels, Trump with lipstick, Trump before there was Trump, and Trump 2.0. And none of them work.
But they never learn, and neither has Florida Governor Ron Pissantis. For the last two years now, he has broadcast quietly that he will be running for President in 2024, and that his tactic will be Trumpier than Trump. But because he’s a silly little twerp, he thinks he’s come up with a sure-fire-winner Madison Avenue slogan, Trump without the baggage.
And to a certain extent, it’s been working. The Pocket Moppet hasn’t even officially declared yet, and he’s competitive +/-5 with Trump in most polls. But Pissantis is still trying to out-Trump Trump. he’s just doing it by keeping his natural racism and anti LGBTQ philosophy in the Florida legislature, where they can take the blame for doing what he wants.
Trump has noticed DeSantis’ success, and his threat, and he’s decided to retaliate. He’s using a one-two-punch combo, He’s going to out-DeSantis-DeSantis by calling DeSantis a wussy on his signature issues, and pushing the envelope further, then he brands DeSantis as the filthiest epithet in the MAGA language. In his Iowa speech Trump unfavorably compared DeSantis to both Mitt Romney, and Paul Ryan. And then he lobbed in the kill shot. Just like Romney and Ryan, DeSantis is a filthy RINO!, and therefore not worthy of the time or vote of a true MAGAt.
Just think about this folks, because God knows I had to just sit back and stare at the ceiling until I worked it all out. It all started out with DeSantis trying to out-Trump Trump. Trump, secure that nobody out-Trump’s the Jedi Master, has decided to double blind DeSantis with his own medicine, and try to out-DeSantis DeSantis.
So class, let’s take this to its logical conclusion. If all goes as planned, you’re going to spend the next year watching DeSantis try to out-Trump, while Trump is trying to out-DeSantis DeSantis. Who will immediately turn around and try to out-Trump-Trump-Out-DeSantising DeSantis, who was trying-to-out-Trump int he first place. You’ve heard of Wizard’s chess? This is like Idiots Checkers, where the goal of the game is to lose your pieces as quickly and stupidly as possible.
Here’s an example. Back during his freebooting days in the US House, DeSantis was a card carrying Freedom Caucus member. And as such, as long as there was a Democrat in the White House, DeSantis was a world class chickenshit war hawk. And he wasn’t quiet about it either.
When Putin invaded Crimea, Obama went with crippling sanctions, as well as providing Ukraine with non lethal military aid. DeSantis was incensed. If you give Putin a foot, he takes a mile, and if you give him enough miles, he ends up with all of Europe. When Putin tried to push out of Crimea, before backing off, DeSantis couldn’t shut up again, If we give the Ukrainians the lethal aid they need, and train them on how to use it properly, you’ll see Putin start to rethink his grand strategy very quickly.
But then along came Traitor Tot. Since Vlad the Imp basically bought the election for His Lowness, the correct response was one of fealty. First thing FrankenTrump tried was a strong arm shakedown operation against the new President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky with an offer to trade defensive aid for Ukraine upon receipt of a bogus Ukrainian investigation into opponent Joe Biden and his son, Hunter. When Zelensky refused, Trump became much more favorable to what just might be Russia’s legitimate national aims.
Which of course led Pissantis to take to the airwaves on F*cker Carlson’s show to out-Trump Trump. When lobbed a softball question by Carlson, Pissantis’ response was of course, pure Pissantis, Tucker, while the United States has several pressing vital interests, a territorial dispute between Russia and Ukraine isn’t one of them. Red meat to the base, and red meat Trump fed them first. Sayonara to critical aid if I get elected, Ukraine.
This is not good, since everybody with 12 functioning brain cells knows that Trump was just waiting for the perfect moment to announce that he would cut off military aid to Ukraine if he’s elected, but DeSantis beat him to the punch. So what next?:
- Trump comes out and says that not only will he stop all military aid, he’ll ship offensive weapons to Russia, so that they can finish these upstart pipsqueaks once and for all
- DeSantis will salvo back by saying that if he’s elected, not only will he cut all aid, military as well as humanitarian from Ukraine, the US will provide Russia the embargoed computer chips to allow them to build missiles that will send the Ukrainian ingrates back to the stone age
- Which of course means that Trump’s riposte is that if he’s elected, he’ll send US troops to fight side by side with the Russians, since they’ve suffered such massive manpower losses by being a 3rd rate army
Where does this insane bullshit end? With these two moronic ballot mice, who knows? But I do know that it doesn’t end anywhere good, especially for the GOP. Even if it’s not Ukraine, one or the other of these two dimwits is going to start a 2nd grade pissing contest over some other nugget of base red meat, and the race to the bottom is on!
The one redeeming fact of this political nonsense is that, whether it’s Trump or DeSantis, every goddamn one of them are going to be positions that drove the moderate GOP voters and independents from Trump in the first place. They can fight it to the death to see who is the Biggest Loser with the general election voters.