I swear to God, I can’t get enough of this shit. Every time I hear a brainless troll with an R after his or her name, especially in the MAGA House, my heart sings. You can’t buy this kind of stupid, you just have to accept it for the gift it is, and use it.
Let’s start with the basics. From day 1, Kreepy Kevin McCarthy has never had the 218 votes necessary to become House Speaker, and his dumb ass knows it. And so, in a typical low IQ dick move, McCarthy tried to tilt the field and make himself the only option. Even before the 2022 midterms had been held, McCarthy put his name forward for consideration as Speaker. The problem with dick moves is that they seldom work.
McCarthy immediately ran into trouble, and that was before the results of the midterms showed just how razor thin his majority was. The MAGA morons considered him a sniveling toady chasing power, and the Teabaggers considered him a class traitor for abandoning the principles he rode into congress on. The 20-25 member conservative caucus won’t touch him with fire tongs.
And so McCarthy pulled another cheap dick move. He remembered the old political adafe, You can’t lose to nobody. And so Kreepy Kevin took to the media to announce that he would proceed to the floor of the House for a floor fight if his Speakership was opposed. Because while there were plenty of dissident GOP voices who rose up against McCarthy to oppose him, there was no one who was willing to step forward and put his name n contention to McCarthy’s. It was a calculated political risk. After all, how do you lose to nobody?
McCarthy lost his gambit. As I type, it appears that there are at least two MAGA loyalists ready to put their names forward should the Speakership come to a floor fight. This is somewhat surprising, since McCarthy bent over backwards to give the MAGA mob everything they wanted. But the House MAGA mob are the hyenas of politics, they have no loyalty, and will eat each other at the orders of Glorious Bleater. And they scent a weal zebra in their midst.
If this doesn’t shake itself out over the next 4 weeks, this GOP floor fight for the Speakership is shaping up to be a true 3 Stooges pie fight. McCarthy doesn’t have the votes to become Speaker. And nobody in MAGA land has the support to become Speaker either. And nobody can get a majority big enough to get the gavel without dealing with the conservative caucus. And you can’t deal with them as a caucus because they’re all individually elected members with their own agenda. You have to deal with them one at a time. And McCarthy doesn’t have time.
The way this is shaping up, the January GOP attempt to elect a Speaker is going to degenerate into a multi round Animal House food fight. All of which allows the Democrats to approach the saner conservative caucus, and negotiate for a consensus Speaker who will legislate rather than play partisan bullshit politics, that 214 Democrats can get behind. Strap in, we haven’t seen anything like this in ages.
When it goes down, we’ll remember you were the soothsayer. Ha. It’s like that horrendous scene in Jango when the dogs tore an innocent man apart. In this case the man isn’t innocent and if he were able to push his IQ into triple digits, he would have recognized jan6 as his opportunity to lead and salvage his reputation. Instead he swore fealty to the devil and now his minions are ready to pounce.
There was an episode of SouthPark where Satan wanted a birthday bash like the type the “famous for being famous” gals would have back in the day. Among the antics were a parody of the Three Stooges only it was three notorious mass murderers. What follows is easy enough to imgaine when the GOP caucus meets.
I remember he wanted a Ferrari cake, but the killers killed the baker. McCarthy may need to watch his step. I’m not sure the safety is engaged on those weapons the idiots tote around like a prop.
I should have looked down the list of clips. If I’d done so THIS is the one I would have posted:
I say again: the Dems pulling an inside straight on the Speaker election would be a final fitting FU to the dashed dreams of a “red wave”. And just in time for Trump to be indicted too!
It would be a helluva inside straight! But I think I’ve got just the guy. There’s some Democratic asshat down in TX near Houston that is a “moderate” who could have and should have been voted out in primaries the last couple of cycles. (Cuellar?) He’s narrowly won and pulls of lot of GOP votes. The only reason he’s won his primaries is because the House leadership (including Pelosi) have thrown their support behind him as the “electable” candidate – a sort of we think he’s the only one who can win there and our policy isn’t to undercut any current Representative no matter how awful there are. This guy OWES Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer and others in leadership for still having a seat. And he IS on better terms with the GOP in his state (and probably others) than members of his own Party! So Pelosi gets together with Jeffries and calls him in for a chat. Let him know that next time around he’s going to face a fair fight, with the DCCC playing it straight and his narrow primary wins the last couple of times are almost certain not to happen. That he will lose. That they won’t work for or against him. BUT, he can leave Congress set up for the future as a mega-bucks earning lobbyist. He can switch Parties, and every Democrat will vote for him for Speaker. And there are probably at least ten Republicans in swing Districts that know they’re fucked in 2024 if the crazies have free run that will back the play.
Hell, as Speaker he might even keep his own seat in 2024! But as Speaker he’d do what he’s always done – piss off Democrats lots of times but he wouldn’t be some wack-job and the crazy shit the GOP is planning to do would be somewhat toned down.
cuellar is from the valley (south Texas). he is anti abortion, pretty conservative. reps may go for it to see if they can get him to switch parties.