I’m still reeling over the fact that South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem is a psychopath who killed an innocent puppy and a goat. For acting like a puppy and a goat. So I thought I’d do something to take my mind off of it: Poke fun at Kimberly Guilfoyle.

Well hey, it comes at a convenient time since Guilfoyle has written a book about a puppy. Both stories seem to be hitting the news cycle at more or less the same time, Newsweek reports. Guilfoyle, Donald Trump Jr.’s fiancee and a former adviser to ex-president Donald Trump announced her book The Princess and Her Pup on Monday, inadvertently awakening the social media joke parade.

We already know that Noem, a potential Trump choice for vice president, shot poor little Cricket in a gravel pit after a pheasant-hunting trip.

Noem began catching well-deserved hell after The Guardian published an excerpt last week of her upcoming book, No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward. In the excerpt, Noem shared an account of shooting 14-month-old Cricket because of her “aggressive personality.”

Noem writes that as she was heading back home from the hunting trip, the dog escaped her truck and lit into a family’s chickens, “grabb[ing] one chicken at a time, crunching it to “death with one bite, then dropping it to attack another.” She notes the owner of the chickens cried, so she paid them and helped clean up the mess the dog had made. And, she noted, when she grabbed her dog, Cricket “whipped around to bite me.”

“at that moment,” the governor writes, “I realized i had to put her down.”

No, she didn’t. Aggressive dogs can be trained, and undoubtedly Noem could have paid for a dog trainer to help alleviate the situation, even if she does claim that she “hated that dog” and also said it was “untrainable” and “dangerous to anyone she came in contact with.” But many dog trainers work with so-called “untrainable” dogs and have great success.

There are also things like, I don’t know, muzzles that can be used in situations where a dog might become aggressive. If you know your dog well enough you know durned well when that’s going to happen. We have to muzzle our dog Amigo every once in a while because like Cricket, he’s fond of killing chickens. But I also think if push really came to shove, she could have re-homed the dog with someone who might be knowledgeable about properly handling aggressive dogs.

With the release of the book excerpt, Noem has faced well-deserved anger from Republicans and Democrats. What bugs me the most is she acts like she’s proud of her disgusting and cruel actions.

She’s tried to defend herself on X by writing on Sunday: “I can understand why some people are upset about a 20-year-old story of Cricket, one of the working dogs at our ranch, in my upcoming book—No Going Back. The book is filled with many honest stories of my life, good and bad days, challenges, painful decisions, and lessons learned.

She also claimed she “followed the law and was being a responsible parent, dog owner, and neighbor.”

Guilfoyle’s book follows a completely different path, and she describes it as a “heartfelt story that teaches children that it’s easier to be courageous with a friend by your side.”

But even so, X users, spurred by the hullabaloo Noem caused with her odious book, couldn’t help but poke a little fun at Guilfoyle. Some of the gibes, like the one below, were funny but, well, caustic.

Guilfoyle added that 10 percent of the proceeds will go to Furry Friends Adoption, Clinic & Ranch, a no-kill animal shelter based in Jupiter, Florida.

Maybe Guilfoyle will use the rest of the proceeds to buy more lip filler. Who knows?

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9 COMMENTS

  1. That rhymes with hunt noem insists the abominable behavior of hers was “legal”. Is s.d. in some other country suddenly? Where in the u.s. is animal abuse such as that which she committed legal? I have to hope someone is on their way to do to noem exactly what she did to her poor animals. I MUST hope this or I will likely go crazy.

    I’m not going to b*tch about Ms. Guilfoyle, this time at least. Writing a children’s book with a puppy sets her quite high above rhymes with hunt noem who commits horrific animal abuse. I don’t know if this book has been in the works for very long but it certainly does put noem in the worthless abomination that when gone will make our country much, much better.

    Guilfoyle gets a pass from me. I hope the 10% of sales proceeds does indeed go to the charity.

    10
  2. I’ll believe she’s donating any proceeds when I see the receipts. Still waiting to see the receipts from Melanoma’s donations.

  3. 😲 I can’t get over the photo of Kimmie! That is actually a lovely dress that a woman of good taste might wear!! Why does she have it on?!

  4. Not that I’m trying to minimize the truly abhorrent and cruel treatment of a defenseless pup, but I can never understand how they can care so deeply about an animal and feel so little for 7 year olds that have been shot in the face with automatic weapons! Like my dad always said, if someone can do that to an animal, they’d do it to a human. Noem needs some anger mgt therapy and her daughter will need some therapy too me thinks!

    • You have a point. In an earlier life after leaving active duty I found myself working for an old, not that well known but national conservation group as the Outdoor Ethics Coordinator. Due to my work on hunter education and hunting issues I also found myself getting familiar with animal rights groups and some of the people in it. Two stories from 30 years or so ago come to mind.

      First was one from out in northern California. A young mother in a then smallish and newish town was out for a jog on a road outside town limits. She was an active jogger and it was a regular route. Unfortunely, development was pushing people into what were once mostly undeveloped areas and not all the wildlife was friendly. A mountain lion had gotten emboldened enough to range near the town. It attacked and badly mauled her badly enough she wasn’t abulatory enough to get back to town. Again, this was over thirty years ago and so no cell phone in a fanny pack. By the time she was found it was too late. The mountain lion was quickly tracked and killed as it had taken human life. It turned out to be a she and had two cubs. Outrage animal rights activists mounted a campaign that within a a few weeks had raised well over 20k for the care of the cubs. Closer to 30k if memory serves. As for the single mom and HER children, well he kids didn’t seem to matter. Less than fifty bucks was raised to help out the now motherless young children! Kind of makes you wonder about people’s priorities alright.

      Later on I was part of a group that organized an international conference on wildlife law enforcement. (Had a great time in Reno!) This was in those promising years shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall when there was so much hope for Russia. One of my co-hosts/organizers had developed a friendship with a rich guy over in Russia who’d become a Minister who’s portfolio included this type of thing. Dave had been to Siberia and Kamchatka to work with Russian counterparts (Dave was already a legend in U.S. Fish & Wildlife law enforcement) and he reached out. Sure enough this guy came over and delivered a dinner speech one night. He spoke no English and relied on an interpreter. I got to talk with her and she was really cool, and so hopeful for her country. She was a true pro, and given some of the attendees and dumbass “guy” questions never missed a beat translating some questionable to the point of crude comments and questions to her boss. Never ‘broke character once” at daytime meetings, receptions etc. After Alexandar’s big speech there was a Q and A session. Someone in the crowd posed what for anyone in the U.S. at the time would have been an unremarkable, even obvious question given new freedoms over there at the time. The guy ask “Do you have a problem with an Animal Rights movement in Russia?” I swear her reaction was like she’d been slapped. In a stunned tone she said “ANIMAL rights?” Then quickly recovered and translated the question to her boss and things went on. I got to talk for her for a few minutes after he’d gone up to his room for the night and explained things to her and that the guy who asked that question wasn’t trying to be mean or upset her. But hearing the scope of the animal rights movement here, the various organizations and how substantial their resources were she just couldn’t understand it. Much of the testing on animals she agreed was cruel and it was good that people were trying to address that issue. But the subject here was hunting and for so many in Russia in rural areas it was quite literally subsistence hunting. People weren’t being cruel hunting, but simply trying to survive. AND they were worried that a growing “trophy hunting” trend would cause more problems for them, and while it could raise a lot of money if not properly managed like her boss wanted NONE of the money would go to locals. Only the rich folks organizing the trips! But that night and that exchange where she couldn’t help herself and blurted out “ANIMAL rights?” stuck with me for years. And as Russia devolved, and when I think about days past when I could still hunt I think about it. We all should.

      Trust me when I say anyone being mean, or worse cruel to one of my “boys” back when I still had doggies was in for a world of hurt. And I wasn’t shy about dealing with people I observed being cruel to other’s companion animals or animals in general. I don’t feel a responsible hunter who eats what they kill is a bad or evil person. I, and countless others like me sometimes passed up taking a shot for fear of only wounding instead of killing game.

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