This should be good. If FUX News game show host and crash test dummy Jesse Waters was disappointed and pissed off after the 1st Weaponization subcommittee meeting three weeks ago, I can’t wait to see him throw an aneurism after today’s freak show!
It seems like only yesterday that I wrote about Freedom caucus wingnut Gym Bag Jordan’s nonexistent management skills. Oh, wait! It was only yesterday. But 24 hours is an eternity when it means watching somebody who not only can’t run a meeting, this ass clown can’t even string two paper clips together.
Normally if someone blows off preparation for a meeting, and gets his head handed to him over it, he busts his ass to be, if anything, overprepared for the next meeting. Jim Jordan was, if anything even more unprepared and feckless today than he was the first time. And he’s getting killed for it in the reviews, and the tape clips that are showing up in the media.
For instance. Did you ever watch a college movie, where some nerd is going through a fraternity hazing, and he has to walk blindfolded in his underwear down a line while everybody gives him a wedgie and smacks his ass and the back of his head? That’s exactly what the Democrats on the panel are doing to Jordan almost every time he opens his mouth. They almost get into fistfights with each other on the dais. No! YOU got to pants him the last time, it’s MY turn now. While Jordan sits there with a deer-in-the-headlights look, not sure what to do next.
The Democrat who gets to dress in the hooded black robe with the wood paddle with the holes drilled in it seems to be freshman congressman Danny Goldman. Goldman is a helluva lawyer, and he’s a perfect foil for Jordan. Goldman is quiet, measured, well spoken, and obviously prepared, as opposed to Jordan, who is loud, abrasive, arrogant, and so far over his head you can almost hear him go Glub! At one point Goldman told Jordan that if he wanted to delve into the weaponization of the government, they should call Tubby the Ewok in to discuss his violating Michael Cohen’s 1st Amendment right by jailing him to prevent him from publishing a book. OUCH!
And today USVI congresswoman Stacey Plaskett piled on. She whacked Jordan for trying to ask questions so that the facts morphed into the answers, and not letting the answers conform to the facts. While she was playing one-woman-ping-pong with Jordan, he interrupted her, excuse me. Excuse me! I’m claiming my time now. I’m sorry? I said I’m claiming my time now. Oh, I’m sorry, is it your five minutes now? I can take my five minutes whenever I want, and I’m taking it right NOW!
Sweet. Jesus. What are you Jimbo, six? Hey you guys! It’s MY ball, and I can pitch whenever I want, and if I don’t get to pitch right now, I’m taking my ball and going home! To be honest, I prefer Jordan when he isn’t the Chair, just some asshole on the dais screaming like a madman for five minutes. Watching Jordan with the gavel is like a parent watching their child fuck up the word time in an 8th grade spelling bee.
I wrote that one of the things that even GOP insiders were frustrated with was that Jordan was trying to create the narrative, rather than let the facts create the narrative through questioning. He said, Jordan keeps shooting-from-the-lip, talking about what he wants the evidence to show, and then hopes he’s able to sledgehammer the facts into matching his suppositions. And it’s not working.
But even when he’s given fair warning, Jordan just doesn’t seem to get the memo. Jordan actually brought witnesses in to testify today, and guess what? They were exactly the kind of witnesses that the Democrats poleaxed in their 300 page report. A bunch of disgruntled former DOJ and FBI employees, who don’t even fit the criteria of whistleblower, spouting off personal grievances and Q-Anon conspiracies. And the Democrats had a field day with these misfit toys.
The truly sad part is that Jordan honestly seems to think that he’s kicking-ass-and-taking-names. And in his mind, he probably thinks he is! Remember, for Jordan and these other GOP mouth breathers, it’s all performance art. As long as the witnesses in this pathetic spectacle provide fodder for FUX News prime time, it’s all-systems-go. My parting words for Jordan would be the phrase used by the priest in Exorcist II, Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you’re an asshole.
An assistant wrestling coach isn’t qualified to run anything but a weigh in for wrestlers. I lived in the jock dorm at Carolina for three years with the football team, and wrestlers. He’s exactly the kind of weasel they would turn upside down and plunge his head into the toilet. If he squealed, it would be a regular part of his curriculum. He would squeal, just as he’s doing now.
Thank you Scott…The thought of Jordan upside down with his head in the tiolet is an image I’ll gladly take to bed with me tonight…lol
Glad to be of service Joe. Ha.
He was probably just as obnoxious as a kid and got himself dunked in the toilet on a regular basis, being mistaken for the turd that he is. It would go a long way to explaining his behavior today, filled with the anger, resentment, and just pure nastiness he exudes. A thoroughly disgusting piece of work. I feel sorry for anyone who has to be in his presence, let alone be questioned/harrassed/abused by him. Plaskett’s doing a good job, holding her own, but if I were her, I’d need a really big glass of wine (or something stronger) to relax with later.
The one thing you have to understand is that if thereâs a lot of screaming and name calling in a republicans meeting. Itâs all good. Jordan is to stupid to see its all falling apart. Yeah that attorney guy was awesome. Jordan is supposed to be the chair and after the lawyer got to his last question he was like I see, Iâm talking to the wrong idiot and Iâm done wasting my time. And then there was the girl. She owned the rest of the day. Donât know about her but she will make headlines a reality before sheâs done. The whole thing is comical. And they havenât even got to the laptop. That girl will be awesome because I think she can get down and dirty and make even Gym Bag Jordan blush. I knew this was going to be stupid but I didnât realize that the left had such talent. Once these idiots have someone explain what complete and total idiots they were on live TV they are going to crap all over themselves. Itâs no wonder the âwhistleblowersâ are done behind closed doors.
Jordan even looks like an idiot before he even opens his mouth, then when he does we know he’s an idiot . Who put him in office ? where is he from ? Are they not embarrassed by him ? Can we call his mother to come get him ?