We began our week with Donald Trump holding forth on history, specifically the invention of transgenderism a few years ago and the state of the Mexican border in 1023. We end our week with Donald Trump, Jr. giving scientific and military advice. It won’t surprise you that the apple has not fallen far from the tree and Junior’s advice is as equally uninformed and bat$hit crazy as his father’s.

Junior does not like the Chinese surveillance balloon sighted over the western United States and Canada.

Junior’s only solution to something he doesn’t like is to figure out a way to shoot it. Ergo, this fine piece of advice to Montana MAGAs.

 

Now, if Junior wasn’t busy getting loaded all the time being an animated guy, he might have a few moments to read a newspaper. Shooting down the balloon was contemplated. It was also discarded as a viable idea because of the danger of falling debris to citizens.

Apparently Junior is under the impression that the “balloon” is a hot air balloon or something, sailing over the hilltops. No, Junior, the freaking thing is up at 60,000 feet, which is substantially higher than most aircraft fly, but admittedly not as high as you are on any given day. Also, it poses no threat — not that you would care, you want to shoot things just on general principle.

There are some other ways to get rid of the balloon, however.

  1. Injecting it with bleach;
  2. Using Jewish space lasers on it;
  3. Nuke Montana and let the mushroom cloud take care of the balloon;
  4. Wait for it to drift into Florida airspace and aim hurricanes at it.

See, Junior, you just lack imagination, on top of all your other intellectual shortcomings. That said, Junior is pulling down millions for podcasting precisely the idiocy you have heard.

Bookmark this piece. You may need to come back to it if a lot of Montana MAGAs are injured out shooting at the sky and each other.

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16 COMMENTS

    • Cherl, who needs MTG? I can do this.
      “Hello, Moshe? Oh, hi Shlomo, tell Moshe to enjoy lunch. Listen, can you aim our laser at this balloonie-thingie over Montana? Yeah, Don Jr wants it gone. Debris? It’s Montana dude!”

      Ok Cherl, no prob, any minute now my people and our laser will be looking after it

  1. First ursula…you forgot the sharpie defense…just draw a lasso like George Bailey did with the moon, and pull it down to 10,000 feet, about as high as Jr., then have daddy nuke it. Problem solved. Oh you could also boycott Chinese food since you snow bunnies don’t eat and snort at the same time.

    10
      • Now now. Having been there I can attest it’s really quite a wonderful place, even if it’s red when it comes to politics. However they aren’t as nuts as Republicans in other places, and even willing to still elect a Democrat (Tester) to major office now and then. Way back in college we had a soprano in Opera Workshop from Billings and Norma was really a nice lady. I’m pretty sure she went back there to teach (she was a grad student getting her MFA) and when I went there I found plenty of people from Montana who were great. I even got to have a nice, long talk with a musician (Rob Quist) who would a couple of cycles back wind up running for Congress as a Democrat so there ARE sane people there.

        • I am extremely down on their governor, Gianforte, and how he loves to shoot animals and hang their heads on the walls of his mansion. I really have a problem with that. Gianforte has colored my perception of Montana considerably.

    • I would counsel that first you find out if Montana has hurricanes, generally speaking. If they do, then I know an expert in Florida on the subject of nuking hurricanes, and he could be of assistance.

      • I think there might be a golden opportunity here … with Magas all keyed up to get their long guns out and fire at will, straight up at that balloon, the physical laws of gravity, say what goes up, must come down … if a 50 caliber gun is fired straight up, the bullet will lose its upward path, roll over and return to the heads of those creeps down below with acceleration due to gravity until it reaches terminal velocity of about 120 miles per hour … figure the mass of that bullet with a relative sharp point moving that fast hitting a skull … nice catch !! πŸ™‚

  2. The boy is not bright. In no way can one mistake him of having a clue about anything. I am however surprised, given that better than 1/2 of the population of MT are about on par with dipshit Jr. here I.Q.-wise, that pot shots have not been taken while it was over our airspace.

    It came to the U.S. after being in Canadian airspace-did they apprise us of the situation when it was still over them?

    Seriously tho’, spying such as that the idiot ‘pubes are screaming about is done via satellite and China does their share of it, same as we do, utilizing satellites. Not sure what this thing is about but I’d have to say it’s most likely some sort of weather balloon.

    • Alas, Spike, you have inadvertently stumbled on the truth – it IS our balloon and we brilliantly fooled you guys into thinking it was Chinese. Sure, we launched it from a super-secret CSIS base in Toktoyaktuk, BUT we missed on one little thing – we were aiming for Denmark, not you guys. You see, we are not yet ready for peace with the Danes over Hans Island. A LOT of damn good alcohol was shared in that war, and we Canucks are simply not yet ready for peace with those dastardly, yet well-stocked with great hooch, Danes. Accordingly, the balloon was meant for Greenland. Sure, we missed by thousands of miles, but what can I tell you? Hockey? Good. Balloon aiming? Meh…..

  3. With thousands of planes flying lower than the balloon, not a good time to fly over red states and their trigger happy twits.

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