Man, there must be something explosive on the rest of those secret recordings that Stephanie Wolkoff made of former BFF Melania Trump because Melania is fuming. She has taken to the White House website, for the second time this week, this time to post a whining aggrieved blog, dripping with self pity — and beyond that, making little or no sense.

If you check the timeline of the past few weeks, you’ll see that Wolkoff released the damning Melania tapes on CNN, where Melania railed about “fucking Christmas decorating. But I have to do it, right?” on October 1. There was an immediate explosion and the only thing that kept the news cycle from staying with that topic for a few days, was the announcement the following day that she and Donald Trump had tested positive for COVID-19.

On Tuesday, September 29, Trump debated Joe Biden. Two days later Hope Hicks was diagnosed with the virus. That same Thursday, October 1, was the profane bombshell on CNN and at 1:00 a.m. Friday morning, October 2, Trump tweeted that he and Melania had the virus. Maybe the two incidents are related? Maybe Trump decided to announce he had the virus to take the heat off Melania? This is a reasonable supposition because it is possible, if not probable, that Trump had the virus when he debated Biden.

In all events, Melania recently posted on the White House website about her recovery from coronavirus and the fact that Barron had it as well but now she’s fine and will resume her duties. We are thrilled beyond measure to hear that.

Now here is the latest epistle from Melania, on the White House website:

Over the last couple of weeks, I have had time to reflect on many things personal to me. One of the most honorable and important roles I have ever undertaken has been serving you, the American people, as the First Lady of this country.

“Some of my other roles include posing nude handcuffed to a briefcase on Donald’s plane, or nude with another woman, or lying about languages I don’t speak and college degrees I don’t have. And now I serve you by decorating your fucking Christmas trees.”

When I thought about where I wanted to put my time and efforts, there was no hesitation. BE BEST has one simple purpose—to help children. It serves to provide the tools children need to prepare them for their futures.

Does anybody know what the hell she’s talking about? Because the reality of Be Best is that it is a hashtag on Twitter.

We all know that more often than not, information that could be helpful to children is lost in the noise made by self-serving adults. I have most recently found this to be the case as major news outlets eagerly covered salacious claims made by a former contractor who advised my office. A person who said she “made me” even though she hardly knew me, and someone who clung to me after my husband won the Presidency. This is a woman who secretly recorded our phone calls, releasing portions from me that were out of context, then wrote a book of idle gossip trying to distort my character. Her “memoir” included blaming me for her ailing health from an accident she had long ago, and for bad news coverage that she brought upon herself and others. Never once looking within at her own dishonest behavior and all in an attempt to be relevant. These kinds of people only care about their personal agenda—not about helping others.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Melania, on the other hand, has no personal agenda, other than public service and self sacrifice that would put Florence Nightingale to shame. Righto. My best guess is that this translates as Wolkoff is only just warming up with the tapes and the worst is yet to come.

Once again, outlets chose to focus their coverage on pettiness over my positive work.

Same comment as before, what work? Melania is an ornament, just like the fucking Christmas decorations she detests.

 There are plenty of opportunists out there who only care about themselves, and unfortunately seek to self-aggrandize by knowingly taking advantage of my goodwill.

It must be terrible to be a great lady like Melania, always being taken advantage of.

Anyone who is focused on tearing things down for their own gain, after knowing what I stand for,

Again, WTF does she stand for? Anybody?

has lost sight of what we are here to accomplish and who we are here to serve.

No one has lost sight of that. We all know exactly what you are there to accomplish and who you serve.

To push forward a personal agenda that attempts to defame my office and the efforts of my team, only takes away from our work to help children.

“But not those children in cages. Screw them. I really don’t care about them, do U?”

I would say to my team, our supporters, and to all those out there on the frontlines in our communities every day—remember what we are all about and what we are trying to accomplish together. I would remind the media that they have the choice of focusing on our next generation. As a country, we cannot continue to get lost in the noise of negativity and encourage ambition by those who seek only to promote themselves.

Thank you to all who have given us support. Thank you for you tireless efforts and for your love of this country. I look forward to working with you closely over the next four years.


Melania Trump

We look forward to you leaving our house, and don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

I can’t wait to hear what else Wolkoff has on tape. Melania is sweating, so it’s got to be something. Good, let her sweat. She had no problem with the casual cruelty of the pea coat. That was some kind of a troll on us, so great. Lady Karma just stepped in and she says, “Pay back’s a bitch.”

Liked it? Take a second to support Ursula Faw and PolitiZoom on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

28 Comments on "Beyond Parody, Melania Posts Whiny, Self Pitying Screed About Her Former BFF"

newest oldest most voted

I sup[pose she can’t really be accused of tearing anything down – she tore the Rose Garden UP after all

Meg Corrigan

She RUINED the Rose Garden! I hate to think what she’s done to the WH residence!


Would someone remind me why I’m supposed to give a rat’s ass about Melania…like, at all?


For me, it is because it bothers her so much.

Denis Elliott

When it comes to her hurt fee fees I really DON’T care – Do “U?”


I got nothing…LOL


I never could figure out what Be Best was supposed to mean. Be best what? Be better than everyone else (like your husband thinks he is?). Why not Be YOUR Best? And exactly what has she done this? Not a damn thing. All adult trumps are grifters.

Denis Elliott
Her p.o.s. hubby thought her accent and broken English were “cute” and apparently still hasn’t grown tired of it. So she assumes everyone else thinks it’s “cute” too, and even endearing. I for one can’t imagine why after over twenty years in this country and fifteen plus with a sugar daddy with Hollywood connections and also living in NYC (theater as in freaking Broadway!) and therefore access to great vocal coaches that work with actors to help them attain or lose an accent (usually within weeks – at most a couple of months) she didn’t smooth our her accent and… Read more »

I have a good friend who came to this country 2 years after Melania. She speaks English without an accent. The only way you might know her native language is Spanish is because of how fast she talks. On the other hand, that’s Bella. She works at hyperspeed. And she also speaks French. For real.


I’m saving my sympathy, empathy and compassion for the children separated from their parents and put in cages at the border, the millions of Americans who have lost their jobs, facing hunger, eviction and those who are sick, dying or dead from trump’s botched pandemic response. I’m also concerned for the doctors, nurses and all essential workers who are on the frontlines.
Melania should shut up and count her blessings. This will be the last year she will have to orchestrate Christmas decorations at the White House.

Scott Jackson

So true. Maybe she can do his cell.The

Meg Corrigan

Amen, ReaderRay!


But remember, Michelle once had bare arms.

Simpler times.

Senovio Rodriguez

…da horror… oh my… the horror !!!!

Okay, y’all know this is snark. But, at least she didn’t wear a tan suit!!!!

Lil Blue Sock

Sorry Malaria…..I just don’t have any sh!ts left to give.

Carol O

And I’m totally out of f*cks to give.


I have one, but it’s on fire.


I read the book. Melania really shafted her former best friend. Reading what she wrote that you quoted here made me unable to choose between laughter and vomiting.

IMHO, I don’t think he really had COVID. His age, size, and other health issues are against him. Chris Christpie seems to be scared to death after his week in the hospital. Also, if he did have it then those doctors at Walter Reed need to lose their medical licenses. Also, if my son had it and was their son’s age, I wouldn’t have been able to keep that quiet My 28 year old son caught it from a customer at his bank and that terrified me. I didn’t keep that quiet. Melania needs to be locked up with the… Read more »
p j evans

he had it before the debate – but his doctors are lying. They’re not even signing their statements for the press.


This was on the OFFICIAL White House website? That’s shameful & that alone marks her as opportunistic, vindictive garage.