Y’all know that I played hockey for a bunch of years, and in my playing days I always had a kind of a personal philosophy. Given a choice, I’d much rather play the third period up by two goals than down by two. And right now, the GOP Governors in Arizona, Texas, and Florida are down by a lot more than that.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was quite the sight today at his coronavirus press conference. Mostly what he looked like was a 6 year old wearing his fathers suit and standing in front of the mirror, trying to look all important and shit. And that’s about how competent and intelligent he looked standing there too.
But DeSantis made news too, and oodles of it. He complimented senior citizens on their diligence in continuing to wear protective gear, maintain social distancing, and staying at home. Gee, could that be because we frost tops don’t trust a word out of your lying mouth? He actually promoted the wearing of masks in public, but then he expressed absolute amazement that the spike in cases was due to the 25-34 age demographic. You know, the same age group that looked at the stay-at-home orders like being grounded by their parents?
But his big news must have come as a maximum bummer to his beach blanket constituents. In addition to closing the beaches ahead of the July 4th holiday, DeSantis belatedly joined Texas and Arizona in announcing the closing of all bars in the state, as prospective hot spots. But here’s a perfect example of that vaunted GOP leadership. The closings are not immediate, they begin in the upcoming week. How’s that for genius leadership. The bars are hot spots, so you announce the closings in advance, giving the young idiots a couple of more days to pack the bars and get their freak down.
But here’s where that whole horses and barn doors thing comes into play. According to Dr Peter Hortez, doing this not only in Florida, but in Texas and Arizona as well is like pulling the goaltender just as the final horn goes off. You’re already too damn late.
Here’s why. By re-opening the bars in a totally reckless and irresponsible way, with no capacity or social distancing restrictions or enforcement, these malignant moron Governors introduced the virus into a demographic that had previously shown to be pretty resistant to it. But the problem is that the virus is there now, in that demographic, and belatedly shutting down the bars isn’t going to do a damn thing to get rid of it.
At this point, what difference does it make if the bars and beaches are closed. These kids are going to have parties in the basement, or backyard BBQ’s. They’re going to stand in a bunch, tell jokes, and laugh too loud. They’re going to drink from each others cups, make out, and get laid. And in doing so, become a Covid smorgasbord.
And thanks to the Trump Economy, A sizable number of these mutton heads still live at home with their parents, a higher risk group, and maybe even their grandparents, the very people who have been standing on their heads to stay out of the way of this thing. And they’re gonna laugh, and belch, and cough, and kiss people goodnight, and hey! whatever happens, happens.
From the very start of this crisis, these GOP Governors have suffered from two terminal conditions. They vastly underestimated their incompetence, and they vastly overestimated their hold over their supporters. Science denial was an easy shtick, and it played well with their supporters, who didn’t want to think about responsibility or sacrifice either. But now constituents, including supporters, are dying, and more every day, and they’re getting scared. And for the first time, like a husband caught standing in the doorway at 3 am with his shoes in his hand when the hall light comes on, they’re getting that sinking feeling that the party is over. It would be poetic justice if only so many innocent people didn’t have to die to get there.
To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen
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