How Many Freakin’ Canaries Does ONE Lousy Coal Mine Need Anyway?


I don’t mind using that phrase A canary in the coal mine, because it’s clean, simple, and accurate. The meaning is obvious, a largely unexpected event that could portend greater danger ahead. And it isn’t just pundits who use the phrase, politicians take it very seriously as well. Just look at the near record number of retirements in 2017 on the GOP side. The Democrats mat have wailed and moaned about overconfidence, but the GOP read the writing on the wall very clearly.

But this is getting to be ridiculous. The floor of the GOP coal mine is starting to look like a dandelion infested lawn with all of the bright yellow corpses laying around. Lamar Alexander has heeded the call to return to the plow, Jonny Isakson is retiring for health reasons, mainly because trying to get reelected would kill his political career, and even before vacating his congressional sear for a position where his lips could be in closer proximity to Trump’s ass, and he could wear combat fatigues to work as Trump’s Chief of Stuff, Trump buffoon Mark Meadows had already decided against another tilt at the windmill. Richard Burr of North Carolina isn’t even up in this cycle, and jumped the gun in announcing his retirement at the end of his term, before his insider trading scandal broke.

But all of those are common, ordinary, garden varieties of canary, mainly proactive ones. They caught a whiff of fire and brimstone in their political future, and decided to take a bow. And that’s ;s the way of the way of the political world. Losing an election puts a black mark on your record that could hamper future runs, therefore it’s easier and safer to take a powder, and pop back up again when the skies are sunnier.

Which is what makes congressman Steve King’s loss in Iowa this week the biggest, fattest, brightest yellow corpse yet to hit the floor for the GOP. Nobody wants to lose an election, but if you lose a general election, there are a myriad of excuses you can use, the simplest one being more Democrats than Republicans turned out to vote. But when you lose in a primary election, there are no lame excuses available to you, it means only one thing, that your own voters turned against you.

Steve King is no byproduct of Donald Trump, in fact he likes to brag that He was Trump before there was Trump. And he’s right, a lifelong, unabashed racist and all purpose asshole. And it’s not like this is King’s first ride at the rodeo, we won guis sear in 2012, and ran successfully for reelection 3 times after that. He can’t blame the Democrats for this one, it was his own constituents who turned their backs on him after accepting his racist antics for eight years. And this should be devastating news for the GOP.

Because it likely means that Trump’s shtick is starting to wear thin, even in what would normally be construed as GOP strongholds. Kentucky Governor Matt Bevan modeled himself as Trumpier than Trump, and turned the governors mansion over to a Democrat last November. Thom Tillis in North Carolina is swimming upstream so hard he’s starting to look like a spawning salmon. The last poll I saw had Democratic challenger Jamie Harrison within the margin of error against Leningrad Lindsey in South Carolina. You need a Hubble telescope to find Corey Gardner in the Colorado polls, Susan Collins doesn’t know whether to shit, go blind, or wind her watch, and Martha McSally is so far behind Mark Kelly in Arizona that he’d have to make a out stop in order for her to catch up.

And the outlook in the House may not be much brighter. NY GOP congressman Peter King, while a frequent supporter of Trump is still no slobbering Trombie, has already announced his retirement. A new poll just came out showing that Trump is only 1 point ahead of Biden in Texas of all places, what does that do to the prospects of an outer space oddity like Louie Gohmert? The same poll shows a dead heat between Trump and Biden in Ohio, what does that do to the chances for Jim Jordan, especially if his integrity is taking a hit over the continuing OSU wrestling scandal? And with a large senior population, and an out of control coronavirus in Florida, I wonder how frat pledge drunk Matt Gaetz little joke about wearing a gas mask into the well of the House is playing down there.

See, there’s the rub for Trump and the GOP. When the Obama economy was chugging along, unemployment was down, and the nation was pretty much chugging along, it was easier to tolerate having the actual presidency turned into a daily episode of a realty show. But now the economy is in the shitter, unemployment is at Great Depression levels, there is an out of control pandemic that Trump personally let get out of control, and this nation is having a discussion about race and policing more serious than we’ve seen in more than a generation. This is not the tie for childish displays of pique and temper, and that’s all Trump has to offer. These GOP incumbents, especially in the House, not only cheered him on, they largely parroted him. And if in fact Trump has worn out his welcome, then it’s hard to see how many, if any of them survive. Just ask old cantaloupe calves.

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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11 Comments on "How Many Freakin’ Canaries Does ONE Lousy Coal Mine Need Anyway?"

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p j evans

Canaries are warnings in coal mines: when they fall over, the air is bad and you should GTFO right then.


The way it was explained to me, it’s because of the canary’s smaller lung capacity. Anything harmful in the air is therefore going to get them first. One could make a correlation between this and Steve King’s brain capacity.


The miners used to have just one canary in a cage. Trump has a whole flock flying wild out of his control, but when they get too close they die.
He doesn’t even have to touch them anymore.

Cherl Harrell

All I can say is, it is about time! How long were the powers that be going to suffer these fools gladly?


I would argue that McSally is something of a special case, a failed Senatorial candidate who only got her seat by way of appointment in the aftermath of McCain’s death. Why anyone thought she would work out for this year is a mystery I’ll let others unravel. She’s threatening to be the canary of the coal mine in Arizona for Trump.

Andrew S

Interesting article. Proof reading, though! Ouch!

Judy ruebush

Amen on the editing issue

Scott Jackson

I took the thousands of brown people killed, jailed, permanently separated from parents no matter how young, & deported back to countries the US policies destroyed in the name of capitalism, & sent back to rape, torture & murder. It’s a goddamn flock of canaries for all of us.

Carroll Ann Robinson
Frankly I think we’d better start looking for a vendor for more canaries. Too many of them are dying before they can lay any more eggs. Since he came to power without the popular vote it has been nothing but craziness, nonsense, jabberwocky nonsense really, and around too many corners danger lurking for us. I keep thinking of the quote from Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Now if the Republicans would hear her message we’d be all set. Oh, I forgot, they turned off their hearing aids along with their consciences and free will.