If At First You Don’t Succeed. Keep Going, Cuz That’s Some Funny Sh*t!

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Remember ever seeing a home video on a television show, with either a baby or toddler, or a really cute puppy doing the same stupid thing over and over again, even though it leads to the same disastrous result? Yeah, me too. And don’t even get me started on what kind of people publicly humiliate their children and pets just to get on television. But it’s turning out that His Lowness actually is that drooling toddler or mentally disadvantaged puppy.

In the past, you have heard me, along with many other sage people, categorically state that while every president lauds the positive effects of a strong economy, the first lesson of Oval Office 101 is that you never take credit for the goddamned thing. That’s for the simple reason that the market, and the economy in general are ruled by forces and circumstances far beyond any president’s direct control. What were you, like 5 years old when you were taught that what goes up, must come down?

Donald John Trump, a man who has never balanced a checkbook in his life, and who considers chapter 11 bankruptcy to be the business version of a mulligan in golf, is much smarter than that. Being an economic savant, Trump latched onto the surging stock market like a drowning sailor grabbing onto a floating piece of wood. But being Trump, he didn’t just ride that wood to the shore, the silly bastard tried to tow the stupid thing up the side of the mountain with him. And when it got too heavy, both Trump and his stock market plank went flying back down into the water again.

Trump is paying a steep price for his arrogance. 30 million unemployed. The worst one month surge in 1st time unemployment claims in recorded history. An unemployment rate not seen since the Great Depression. And it’s only going to get worse from here. Trump’s popularity numbers sleep with the fishes, and Biden’s lead in polling continues to grow, not only nationally, but in battleground states critical to Trump’s reelection. One would think that even a stupid 7 week old puppy would figure out to drop the stick if he can’t get through the doggie door with it in his mouth, but El Pendejo President is down with one more tilt at the windmill.

Although it is sad to say, it must be said, a 6 week old puppy is smarter than the President of the United States. Following his election, and presented with a gift wrapped bull economy by President Barack Obama, Trump made a not uncommon, but often fatal miscalculation. He confused the Stock market economy with the Main Street economy. And the two have little to do with each other, and Trump knew it. At every rally he bragged about the record highs of the Dow by bragging about people’s 401k’s, money they couldn’t immediately access, while ignoring the fact that most of them hadn’t seen anything even approaching a meaningful raise in almost a decade. And the con worked, until the coronavirus sent the economy spiraling out of control.

But now the 6 Week Old Puppy In Chief is chasing his presidential tail again. When the economy went down like the Titanic, rather than try to swim away from the impending vortex, Trump climbed on top of the smokestack instead. For the first two months of the crisis, Trump desperately tried to con Wall Street about the potential seriousness of the virus, and it’s impact on the economy, but unfortunately, Wall Street traders are inoculated regularly against pixie dust. Then as the body count piled up, Trump tried bullshitting the American public about the financial disaster, and even offered $1200 bribes to get them to spend dome flash cash to reboot the markets. No dice.

So now, Pampers the puppy is going to try to get that stick through the doggie door one more time. People are suffering, food banks have hours long wait times, if they don’t run out of food first, and people are starting to get a terrible sense of desperation to go along with being stir crazy after being locked up for two months. But Pampers doesn’t see that, in his mind the only thing needed to reverse the debacle and give everything a Shrek ending is a strong stock market rebound.

So for more than a month, Pampers has been busy trying to take peoples mind off of the economy by restarting the economy on a national level. First he started by getting into a pissing contest with the Democrats and Democratic governors, but Schumer and Cuomo turned out to be big dogs, and poor Pampers got soaked. So instead, he started pushing various GOP numskull governors into reopening their states, even as coronavirus cases and deaths in the states continue to rise. Trump has openly called for the country to reopen, and has just as openly praised GOP governors who rush forward with plans to do so, even at the risk of the health and welfare of their constituents. Because, in Trump’s mind, reopening the country will show Wall street that we’re back, as bad as ever, and the stock market will rocket back up to 30,000.

It won’t work. A new poll just showed that 64% of Americans think that it’s too early to reopen for business as usual. and opt for continued stay-at-home orders and social distancing instead. And as sucker states like Florida and Georgia throw open the doors, camera crews capture the sounds and images of their own footsteps echoing as being the only sounds heard at the mall, and shop owners wearing face masks standing in thee doors of their stores, trying to entice people inside. And all while Trump applauds these governors for heroes, and expects more to follow, tying himself inexorably to reopening the economy as his solution to the crisis.

Once again Pampers has chosen the Wall Street economy over the Main Street economy. People on Main Street are scared shitless, and they’re not about to run back outside and expose themselves to a potentially fatal virus just because a silly puppy with a stick in his mouth tells them that everything is jake. And when these states, and even more of them get to phase two and phase three, and the stores are still ordering red ink in 55 gallon drums, and the coronavirus cases and deaths start to spike again, and when governors have to step in and reimpose stay-at-home orders to deal with it, the stock market will tank to a level lower than when Trump took office.

And when that happens, who do you think people are going to blame? Moronic GOP governors for sure, but how about the idiotic puppy who engineered and forced through the entire thing, just so that he could hopefully go back to bragging about how well everybody’s 401k’s are doing, at a time when those same people have had to raid those 401k’s at a horrific penalty, just to survive? Bad puppy Pampers! You’re a bad puppy! 

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35

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26 Comments on "If At First You Don’t Succeed. Keep Going, Cuz That’s Some Funny Sh*t!"

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p j evans
Member

When Nordstrom is closing stores, and Nieman-Marcus is filing for Chapter 11, it isn’t going to be over soon.
And even South Korea is having reopening problems – they have 18 new cases tied to club-goers, at least 15 tied to *one* person.
In CA, Governor Newsom is telling the three counties that decided to reopen that they could lose disaster funding.

Bareshark
Guest

At least we know about those cases in South Korea and California. I shudder to think how many unacknowledged cases are walking around my part of the world. My mom lost her sister this week to a heart attack in her sleep. Mom’s been wondering if it was COVID 19 that got her, mixed with pre-existing conditions.

Lil Blue Sock
Member

…..and when the virus explodes in the states that relaxed orders per Trump-O’s private musings he will say “I told them it was too early and I was against it….I’m not responsible.”.

Bareshark
Guest

Of course…

Janey K Kelly
Guest

Yes, if they reopen and cases spike, he’ll say I told you so. On the other hand if they reopen and things go well, he’ll say I told you to reopen. Since he said both either way he wins. He’s such a fuck head.

Chris Whitley
Guest
Oh it’s not going to go well. It’s just plain science. He’s basically not doing anything. And look who it hits hardest. Black people in general, the poor, and the elderly. Those are people that won’t vote for him, anyway. Now your gun toting, beer drinking one percenters that will vote for him will maybe loose a few but there are a lot of them out there. Yeah your die hard republicans will make it. Of course some of those states that didn’t shut down aren’t doing that well. Might be a problem there. Like that one state. I think… Read more »
Bareshark
Guest

Yeah, those GOP asswipes have yet to figure out that COVID 19 will get them too, aided and abetted by their own lousy healthcare. My state of TN, despite having 14,000+ official cases, supposedly only has a little over 200 casualties so far. Does ANYBODY buy these numbers?

Chris Whitley
Guest

You better believe that he’s sitting up their hatching conspiracy theories to spin it to somehow say it’s the left out to get him. Even worse right now it’s Saturday and the normal news leaders are off so he starts his rage tweets.

Bareshark
Guest

Given the White House status as a COVID 19 hotspot, he’s already been gotten.

Lil Blue Sock
Member

This AP article states the Trump-O administration killed the guidelines on re-opening issued by the CDC….probably because none of the re-opened states met any of the early guidelines……they are purposefully withholding information that could save lives.

https://news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-top-white-house-221739591.html

p j evans
Member

fortunately, the guidelines escaped.
https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/6883734-CDC-Business-Plans.html – the pdf can be downloaded there

Bareshark
Guest

Of course those guidelines escaped! These people are the world’s lousiest at keeping secrets.

Chris Whitley
Guest

Yes they are. The thing is that the rest of the world is now watching. Strange thing. The world has watched us for who we are. Now they watch us for who we’ve become.

Bareshark
Guest

My small town is still pretending this is all confined to the nursing home scene, which is up to 8 casualties and 3 more still hospitalized among the residents. They’re following the Pampers President’s orders and they will suffer for such. This place was dirt-poor to start with, so I look for it to slip the rest of the way into the Abyss.

daithi
Member

I do sort of wonder how the economy will pick up when consumers are dying off in the tens of thousands (not forgetting the fact that the work force is also being hit, so who is going to produce goods for the consumers who won’t be there?)

Cherl Harrell
Guest

Also the fact that all the unemployed people have no money to spend on anything besides food.

Bareshark
Guest

Never expect logic from a fanatic. Ideology, even when it fails the rabid believers, remains more important than fact. In this case, that ideology is saying neither those customers (HATE the word consumer) nor workers you mentioned matter as much as the guys at the top. Such a mistake in judgment will continue to be punished until corrected.

p j evans
Member

CA is going to vote-by-mail for November (with optional vote-in-person for those who must), and Himself is whining about it, and clearly has no effing clue how it’s going to work.

Lone Wolf
Member

Trump and the GOP are a quantum terabyte of assholery.

p j evans
Member

Gotta be bigger than that – at least an exabyte!

VoltOwner
Guest

I’m thinking Petabyte.
(It fits with It’s whole Ivanka fetish/perv thing too.)

(The first gen version of this “storage solution”, https://pro.sony/en_GR/products/high-end-scalable-library/optical-disc-archive-petasite-ex-solutions, was going to be called the PetaFile before the idea reached the States…

p j evans
Member

If you have to go big: the Yottabyte!

CAZ
Guest

Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results. (Possibly Einstein)

Bareshark
Guest

Also one of the better-known lines of a fairly good game, Far Cry 3.

Chris Whitley
Guest
Something to look at. The rest of the world would like to kick him off that mountain. Moron is tanking the world economy. And right now we are at the bottom of the pile on this and digging in. We are real close to having some foreign countries do an intervention. It’s not just what we are doing to ourselves. They are worried that we will play around and take it to other countries. I mean hell we can’t even keep our top government officials safe. I think it’s up to five people in the White House that have tested… Read more »
Bareshark
Guest

And Vlad is likely in no position to help Trump out this time. Let him drop as many Russian doctors out the window as he likes. It will neither stop the spread of COVID 19 nor resurrect oil prices they stupidly slashed through their own greed. Add in how the Middle East is giving Russia the middle finger of late and Donnie Two Scoops is the least of their problems.