The Undisputed King Of Cynicism


There’s an old saying that I’ve always been fond of. In its original iteration it spoke rather jokingly about a particular persons affinity for good luck. The phrase goes Bob is so lucky he could fall into a shit house and come out with a box lunch! You could also substitute Tiffany cuff links or a diamond necklace as the lucky trinkets. But in the current political environment, I’ve found a new respect, and a brand new use for that old phrase.

There’s no doubt about it, Donald Trump is a shit house. Every time he opens his mouth, a toxic stream of shit erupts, which according to Trump supporters, is a part of his quirky charm. But as in the old saying, if you force yourself to pay attention, every once in a while you’ll see that box lunch or those Tiffany cuff links floating by.

It happened again on Sunday. Trump was interviewed by two FUX News stooges, in comfortable surroundings. It went about as you’d expect, except that at one point, the female member of this Frick and Frack combo interrupted Trump to call him out. Trump was bellowing on about an expected death toll of 80,000 when she interrupted him to say, But isn’t that a direct contradiction Mr President? You we’re originally projecting 40,000 and now you’re talking about 80,000. What happened? 

At which point Trump’s oral Fleet enema kicked in; That’s right, I did say 40,000 and now it’s going up, and it’s terrible, but it’s up to 80,000 now, which is terrible, and it could go higher. But even if it does go higher, that would still be at the low end of the range they predicted if we had just shut the whole country down.

It’s hard to know exactly where to start with a vein of pure cynicism this rich. I mean, we’re talking about the King Solomon’s Mine of bullshit here. For instance, Trump’s response to being called out on his bait-and-switch on the numbers was appallingly flippant in its cynicism. Basically it amounts to That was then, and this is now, so go sue me. But it’s the second part of his statement where the cynicism hits truly epic proportions.

Trump uses the higher numbers, in a twisted way, to justify his not taking federal action to shut down the country and issue emergency stay-at-home orders. His excuse is that even if 135,000 people die, that would still be in the lower end margin of what the death toll was projected to be even if he had shut down the country. This is not only cynicism of the highest order, it is incredibly callous as well. And worst of all, it’s blatantly false on two different counts!

First count. There was a study released recently that stated that if the federal government had taken control, issued and enforced nationwide stay-at-home orders, then the fatality count would have plateaued at 40,000-45,000 people. That would have not only saved 30,000 American souls minimum, it would also have spared front line responders a major portion of the horrors they have endured, as well as mitigating the shortages in person protection equipment and ventilators. Also, the University of Washington model that Trump is referencing makes it crystal clear in their introduction that one of the major reasons that they are revising the death toll estimates sharply upwards, actually almost doubling them, is that multiple states didn’t take the expected protective measures, and citizens, especially in those states, chose to ignore the common sense protocols.  Basically, not only Trump’s pathetic inaction, but his active attempts to subvert the restrictions led to a great increase in the mortality rate.

Second, and far more damning. In his attempt to excuse his blatant stupidity and incompetence, Trump is using not only cynicism, but outright deception in trying to cover his tracks. Trump is doing everything in his power to make it sound like the updated figure of 135,000 will be the final fatality figure! And nothing could be further from the truth! That updated mortality figure from the UW model is based on an expectation that the country will reach that grim milestone in the first or second week of June! Because, the first and second week of June is when we can start to expect to see a brand new spike in coronavirus cases brought on by these idiot GOP governors opening the throttle on their states again. And when that happens, I predict that we can expect to see that fucking number double again!

You know, there’s cynicism, and then there’s cynicism. But what we’re currently seeing from El Pendejo Presidente sinks far below the depths of cynicism, to what can only be called diabolical. My current favorite fantasy is that some day in 2021, when we once again have a real, legitimate President in the White house, I’ll turn on MSNBC to be treated to footage of Donald Trump being perp walked, kicking and screaming, off the the Tribunal of the Hague, where he will stand trial for crimes against humanity. Hell, if it’s good enough for other third rate, tinhorn dictators, it’s good enough for ours.

To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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5 Comments on "The Undisputed King Of Cynicism"

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p j evans

I want the next president to sign onto the ICC and get it ratified by the Senate. The excuses they’ve been using aren’t flying anymore.

Cherl Harrell

Please excuse me, what is the ICC? My guess would be International Climate Conference or the Paris accord.


International Criminal Court?

frank c barone
Thanks Joseph Murphy! You always voice my thoughts so well! That described scene of a Trump perp walk, while he kicks and screams, at a Tribunal of the Hague for his trial for crimes against humanity is my dream. When he is finally out of our gov next November, he will have to be prosecuted and finally will be held responsible for his many crimes and abuse of power,cover ups, illegally profiteering from his position, treason, etc. That will be the redemption I expect from him. He is incapable of rising to the occasion that was handed to him, just… Read more »
p j evans

If Himself had gotten PPE manufacturing and distribution going in January, things would be a lot better. Instead he was fussing about HIS numbers.
If the lockdowns had started even ONE week earlier, we’d be better off.