No mercy, no quarter, they’ll pay for their sins! Now lower the cannon, the battle begins! Dropkick Murphys
Sweet Jesus, things are moving fast around here. The ink is barely dry on the article I posted yesterday about the upcoming battle for billions in aid and stimulus, and already the skirmish lines are starting to lay out. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said today that the Senate will not adjourn until the House bill sent over today is passed and pushed on to El Pendejo Presidente for signature. He then said that another, even larger bill is immediately required, a bill the Senate is working to craft.
We all know what that means. It means that big business and large deep pocket donors are already lining up like a bunch of hobo’s in front of a 1930’s soup kitchen, hands out for a free lunch. This is the battle I spoke of yesterday, you know, the one that the Democrats can’t afford to lose?
Fortunately, losing this battle shouldn’t be an issue. There is a very simple plan that the Democrats can use, and even better, it will drive the GOP crazy, seeing as it’s their honored and time tested plan. Tommy Lee Jones put it perfectly in Under Siege, when he said, See? There’s the problem. A movement is exactly that, it moves forward a certain distance, and then it stops. A revolution has a way of always coming back around, in your face! Well, this is a perfect opportunity for the Democrats to throw it right back in the Republicans’ face.
The plan is actually very simple, it’s called offsetting. Remember the last time the Democrats had the House, from 2008-2011? They’d want to do something, say increase funding for Medicaid. The GOP response was that it had to be offset by identical 1-1 spending cuts to other social safety net programs. This is in the days when the GOP allegedly gave a flying fuck about fiscal responsibility. The GOP killed Democratic plan after Democratic plan by demanding that any increase in spending be offset by an equal amount somewhere else. They even tried using that during the fiscal cliff debacle. And now we get to use exactly the same formula against them.
Here’s how it would work. The number I’ve heard bandied about most frequently today is $850 billion. That’s how much Trump and the GOP want in this third round of support as a financial stimulus package to offset losses due to business disruption during the coronavirus epidemic. OK, fine. It’s a nice round number, and will work as well as any other for our demonstration purposes.
Here’s the lowdown. On the top of a piece of paper, in the middle, you put the number $850 billion. Then you draw a line down the middle of the page beneath it. Let’s say that the GOP wants to give $35 billion to the cruise ship industry, to tide them over. Fine, that number goes on the left side of the line. And on the right, it is offset by $35 billion going to increased unemployment benefit payments during the length of the coronavirus epidemic. Want to give the airline industry $50 billion? Got ya covered, and here goes $50 billion in escrow for small businesses to make their mortgage or lease payments while they are shuttered during the crisis. And for every amount that goes on a line, that amount is subtracted from the original $850 billion. When the pot is exhausted, the the stimulus package is complete.
In this way, the Democrats can graphically show the American people that they were fighting for them, and that for once, the rich shitpokes didn’t get the lions share of the pot. There could also be common sense restrictions, such as companies applying for a bailout must be directly affected by the crisis. There is no reason to give chain food retailers a dime, they’re selling out everything they can stock. If there ends up being a food shortage, then that can be revisited in a future round of stimulus.
But here’s my personal favorite, and Dear Lord, I hope the Democrats ram it through, because it would make teeny-weeny GOP heads explode. If a corporation accepts a stimulus payment, it comes with a two year moratorium. If, during that two year period, the company gives its board, CEO, or senior officers anything higher than a 5% raise, or any kind of a bonus, or if the corporation engages in any kind of a voluntary stock buy back operation, then the stimulus is forfeit, and must be returned in its entirety to the Treasury Department within 30 days. That will ensure the American public that the money is being used for its intended purpose, to get the operation back up and running as soon as possible, and get people back to work soonest, and not for feathering the pockets of the rich shitpokes.
Ah, the elegance of irony. there’s nothing sweeter than slapping an opponent across the face with their very own tactics. Except of course, when you can’t possibly lose for doing so! As long as the Democrats howl to the moon about an unfair balance of the pot going to the rich and corporations, if they nix a stimulus spending plan in the House, it won’t be the Democrats at fault, it will be the GOP, for trying to protect their evil overlords. There’s that damn revolution again, coming right back around in your face.
To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen