Hey, I just saw video of Mike Bloomberg out on the campaign trail the other day, and man, he looked great! OK, that’s bullshit, just kidding. I don’t think anybody has actually spotted Bloomberg on the campaign trail since his announcement. He seems to have a novel approach to campaigning, sit around in his underwear all day and cut seven digit checks.
Say what you will, but if a measly $300 million can buy you 15% love, knockez vous your sockies off, Mike. What the hell, it’s a better return on investment than Trump gets with porn stars, right? And also. so far none of your closest aides and confidants have been indicted yet, so that’s one on the positive side of the ledger for you.
There are a couple of things about Bloomberg’s position in the polls that need to be pointed out here. First of all, Bloomberg is carpet bombing the airwaves in Super Tuesday states and beyond, places where nobody else is even up and running yet. And as I said earlier, when pollsters start asking questions, a certain percentage of the population will respond with the first name that pops into their head. And after spending $300 million, Bloomberg’s name is popping into a lot of heads these days.
Second, and to my mind even more important, at the moment Nike Bloomberg is a blank canvas. Bloomberg has done few if any events, does almost no television interviews, and has taken part in no debates. Since he’s working so far out in the calendar, neither Trump nor the Democrats have touched him yet. But Bloomberg carries a ton of baggage, and once we start the run up to Super Tuesday and beyond, and the Democratic candidates start engaging Bloomberg more directly, it will be interesting to see what happens to his poll numbers.
Still, Bloomberg is resonating, at least to some extent, and that can’t be ignored. Here’s a perfect example. A poll released yesterday showed that Biden’s support in the African American community had dropped from 48% to 27%, and Bloomberg’s support had shot up to 22%. Really? The Imperial Grand Wizard of stop and frisk, and 22% of the black community is ready to let bygones be bygones, grab a six string, and start singing Kumbaya with him? There has to be a reason for that.
There is, and here it is. At the moment, Mike Bloomberg is the only Democratic candidate that is directly attacking Donald Trump. His newest ad is a masterpiece, and it’s going viral. In the spot, the ad plays inspirational speech segments from past presidents like JFK, LBJ, Reagan, George W. Bush, and Obama. And in between those segments, are spliced in segments of His Lowness walking about grabbing women by the pussies, and wanting to beat the shit out of somebody. The tag line at the end is Make America Presidential Again! It’s nice to know that at least Bloomberg is not squandering his money.
And this is the lesson that the Democratic candidates need to learn from Michael Bloomberg, and the earlier they learn it, the better off they’re going to be. I keep hammering away at people the simple statistic that 73% of Democratic and independent voters #1 priority in a candidate is one that van beat Donald Trump in November. And right now, Michael Bloomberg is the only fucking Democratic candidate that is tackling Trump head on!
Guys, look. Y’all been at this our there on the campaign trail for over a year now. Voters should know your healthcare proposals better than they know their own health insurance. If they ain’t got your policy proposals after more than a year, and closing on a dozen debates, they aren’t listening. I’m not saying to drop your inspirational ads, especially not in your initial entries to new primary markets, but you really, really need to spice it up a bit with some ads that whack Der Gropinfuror across the chops. If nothing else, it makes it at least look like you’re confident enough to go to battle with the little scumbag.
And no, I’m not suggesting that you dive into the wallow and roll around with Trump. You don’t have to. One of the raps on Joe Biden was that he can be a gaffe machine. Well, Traitor Tot is a fully automated obscenity factory, and it’s running 24/7 shifts. Just pull out some of Trumpenstein’s Greatest Shits from the cabinet, string them together, and splice in your own reminders of how there are actually decent people out there who can run the country. The beauty of Bloomberg is that even if he drops out, all he has to do is to remove his name logo from the back end, and his Super Pac can run his ads for whomever the nominee ends up being, and they’ll still be every bit as effective.
So please, I implore you guys and gals, live a little. Take a walk on the wild side. It’ll feel good to finally engage the real enemy. You can even work it into your stump speeches, give them a little zing. Something like, Did you see what happened at the president’s rally last night? The crowd was chanting “lock her up!” at the Speaker of the House, who actually did her constitutional duty. They should have shouted that about the GOP Senators who let him off of the hook instead. If that doesn’t get you your loudest applause line of the night, then you’re doing something wrong.
To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen