The Filings Are In! The Filings Are In!

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It’s true, I’m a cheap date, and so easy to entertain. Some guys stand by the mailbox, waiting for the new issue of Playboy to arrive, so they can read the articles about the newest stereo equipment, but me? Give me a legal filing from the Trump defense team, and I’m good for hours!

Personally, I’m still wondering about how many National Park Service people they had to have in the White House on Saturday to protect the national treasures when El Perndejo Presidente got slapped with the official Senate indictment, and a summons for Tuesday. I’m guessing at least one Tivo remote through the 70″ plasma screen in the residence. But the rest of the shit belongs to us, so it has to be protected for future generations. After all, how would it sound on a future White House tour, and this priceless Ming Dynasty vase, a gift from China, was smashed when the 45th President of the United States got busted.

But obviously the Trump legal team of Pluckem, Muckem, Duckem, and Fuckem has been burning up those billable hours. Those slackers in the House had as their opening bid a paltry 46 page filing, followed up by a 60 page statement of facts. What a bunch of slackers! The Trump blew the doors off with a Herculean 7 page response! Now that’s the kind of midnight oil effort that gets results!

But as they say, it’s not the quantity that counts, but the quality. And the Trump defense response to the charges is going to be discussed in law school courses for years to come. Kangaroo Court Law School that is. The screed is filled with high falutin’ legal arguments such as calling into question the constitutional legitimacy of the charges, and overthrowing the will of the people in 2016;

“The articles of impeachment submitted by House Democrats are a dangerous attack on the right of the American people to freely choose their president, This is a brazen and unlawful attempt to overturn the results of the 2016 election and interfere with the 2020 election, now just months away.”

OK, first things first. The vast majority of constitutional scholars not named Dershowitz are pretty much in agreement that the current charges pass constitutional muster. Even Jonathan Turley, the GOP’s witness at the House hearings agreed, but resisted on separate issues, such as the longevity of the investigation. And the impeachment charges cannot be legally invalid, since impeachment is a constitutional issue, not a legal one.

Now, their second assertion is stunning in its stupidity. If Schiff and Pelosi sent the House Sergeant at Arms over to the White House to cuff Trump, give him a perp walk, and throw him in the Metro correctional facility, that’s trying to overturn the results of the 2016 election. Nowhere in any House filing of any kind does it question the legitimacy of the 2016 election. The House impeachment charges deal with criminal activity engaged in while lawfully serving as President! Jesus! I’m not even a lawyer, and this shit is obvious to me!

But even this litter of legal basset hounds finally seemed to remember that Oh, yeah! Sez You! isn’t a valid legal defense, so they finally put in the Tantric chant that you’re going to hear them repeating ad nauseum throughout the triall

Mr. Trump broke no laws and was acting entirely appropriately and within his powers when he did so, echoing his Mr. Trump broke no laws and was acting entirely appropriately and within his powers when he did so, echoing his repeated protestations of his own innocence. They argued that he was not seeking political advantage, but working to root out corruption in Ukraine.

Now that’s the kind of finely tuned legal argument that a man can get his teeth into! All of those years in college, and all that money, for a line of pap knew that FOX News hosts have been spouting off for six months now. And it might have been a bit more effective had not the non partisan Government Accounting Office come out and basically said, Well yeah, actually he did break the law, and if mountains of evidence in the House filings didn’t show that they all knew that they were breaking the law.

Now, you might have noticed that so fat, throughout this dreck, there’s something missing? Not to worry, Trump’s top legal beagle (until he’s not anymore) Pat Cipollone has got it covered;

President Trump categorically and unequivocally denies each and every allegation in both articles of impeachment”

Now dat’s what I’m talking about, a full throated denial. But, umm Pat? Don’t you think that maybe you should check with your client first, since he’s not only admitted publicly and on camera to every act he’s accused of, but has proudly pronounced that the entire scam was perfect in every way?

Most of the rest of the six pages was bulk filler and pig slop, but the good news is that the White House is due to push out another legal filing before 5 PM today. YUou know that I’ll be waiting, and I’ll let you know what I find out.

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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7 Comments on "The Filings Are In! The Filings Are In!"

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mae
Member

What a clever group.

CAZ
Guest

Thanks for keeping us posted. As Lyle Lovett said, “you’re story is touching, but it sounds like a lie.” I hope this is the best they can muster.

CAZ
Guest

YOUR STORY. Sorry.

michaelscott
Member

I thought they’d go with Son of Svengoolie’s favorite law firm, Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe.

Concinnity
Guest

Well, these are the only lawyers he can get.

LDoza
Member

Even SETH was left ‘speechless’ here is his response on TRUMP TEAM #MiddleFingerDefense https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1219353508023078913?s=20
I find it hard to expend any energy responding to the Trump defense team’s impeachment memo because it’s legally and factually empty—it’s political rhetoric based on a pathological denial of testimonial and documentary evidence. It’s a joke—it’s beneath attorneys to “analyze” it.
I’m serious here. The Ukraine scandal documents—just the public ones—now number in the thousands and thousands of pages, and Trump’s defense just acts like they don’t exist.
Is it my job, or anyone’s, to spend dozens of hours “debunking” what amounts to a “middle-finger defense”?

p j evans
Member

The “broke no laws” line might have flown for a bit, but the GAO shot it down even before this crackerjack-box filing.