Mario Puzo’s epic novel, The Godfather, was an excellent, if romanticized look at life in the mafia. The Valachi Papers was even more compelling, simply because it was true, a deeper look into the actual daily life in the mob, by a former member turned informant. And for lighter fare on the same subject, there is always Jimmy Breslin’s masterful The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, in which the criminals were basically The Keystone Kops in shiny silk suits.
As we have watched the last three years of the Trump administration unfold, one of the most used comparative phrases by the media is to akin the Trump administration to a crime family. But especially in the last six months or so, I have come to hate that comparison, and I’ll tell you why.
In both The Godfather as well as The Valachi Papers, the criminals were compelling. Vicious sociopaths, enamored only by power, violence and greed. Whether you hated or admired them, they were powerful and intimidating characters. Even in The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight, while not compelling or intimidating, the characters were affable in a goofy kind of way, and you found yourself almost wanting to cheer for them. Kind of like being a Cubs fan.
But when you look at the crimes of the Don Cornholeone family, and the cast of characters, the only words that come to mind are cheap, tawdry, and pathetic. At least the mobsters, both fictional as well as real, carried themselves with what they felt was dignity, and as twisted as it may have been, they at least purported to have a code of honor. Where is the dignity and honor, or even the sweeping vision of the Trump mob? Even the “Kid” Sally Palumbo mob had some characteristics that made them affable and likable. The Trump family is nothing but gutter rats. scrounging for scraps.
The mobsters, both real life as well as fictional, were nothing if not competent. They had a clear plan, and the skills and means necessary to pull the job off. And most importantly, they had the element of fear to keep the population from exposing them. Who the fuck is afraid of little Donnie Redux, and his foul mouthed moll, Kimberly Guilfoyle? Don Corleone always spoke quietly, with a constant hint of genteel menace in his voice. Don Cornholeone can’t even keep his dentures from sliding around so that he slobbers his way through a sentence fer Crissakes! The level of stupidity and incompetence that we’ve seen from the Trump mob couldn’t grace the pages of cracked magazine.
And so I say, shame on you! Shame on you Trump supporters! Not for electing this third rate, pig headed baggy pants clown, that can be forgiven, given his TV persona, and better than average flow of bullshit. No, shame on you for continuing to claim to support this septuagenarian dotard as he stumbles around like Roger Rabbit chasing after Baby Herman in a cartoon. A pox on all of your houses!
And shame on you, the New York Attorney General’s office, and the United States Department of Justice! If there’s one thing that the last three years has taught us, it’s that Donald Trump couldn’t hide a roll of toilet paper in a carton full of the stuff! A Washington Post reporter named David Fahrenthold won a Pulitzer prize for nothing more than going through publicly available information and dialing the phone until his first finger was shorter than his thumb. For fucks sake, how complicated can it be!? You have the power of subpoena and everything! Trump has been the defendant in literally hundreds of civil lawsuits, many alleging fraud and non payment of services, but nobody noticed a pattern, and checked his business practices? And just for dessert, Trump’s Atlantic City casino got nailed by the New Jersey Gaming Commission for money laundering, but nobody thought it might make sense to look at his business. Shame on the both of ya!
And last and most of all, shame on you Republican party! First you let this desert outpost carnival barker hijack your entire party lock, stock and barrel. And when you still had the chance to stop him, or at least rein him in, submission was a superior option to suffering the indignity of a 3 AM poop tweet aimed at yourselves? And once fealty was no longer enough, you are now faced with the humiliation of having to actively defend this pathetic pissant! Think about this for a second. You are seriously considering giving a free pass to a shitheel that pulled an extortion scheme so pathetic that even one of the most corrupt countries on earth refused to go along with it, on the basis of dignity?!? Are you all so vain and shallow that the amount of money on the dresser doesn’t even matter anymore? Be damned to you all!
So, shame on you! Shame in all a y’all! Thanks to your laziness, stupidity, and ineptitude, you have allowed this y-chromosome mutant to turn this country into the kind of laughingstock that has third world dictators point at us, laughing their asses off, end explaining why despotism is far superior to democracy. Begone, the whole damn bunch of you!
To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen