Trump Actually Cut White House Lawyers Out of Writing Bizarro Letter

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Geez, I leave you guys alone for six hours to roar up to a meeting 2 hours away, get back and look at this place! Trump went and made a mess of things again!

I am sorry, this is like beating bunnies over the head, and even I try to stay away from the political equivalent, but I can’t. This is just so damned “Trumpian” in nature that it would be the blogger sin of the decade to not note the sheer absurdity in it all.

First, the summary:

“I am told White House lawyers were cut out of the process of drafting the President’s six-page letter to Pelosi. At the direction of the President, the letter was drafted by Eric Ueland, Stephen Miller and Mulvaney aide Michael Williams,” ABC News chief White House correspondent Jonathan Karl reported Tuesday.

Fcking perfect.

One’s political life is on the line (and quite possibly one’s freedom down the road), and that person also happens to be in a position to rent/buy the baddest-assed lawyers ever invented and programmed, HALO’ing in from 20,000 feet in $3000 suits, briefcases full of just ass kicking shit, and instead, he goes with the advice of Stephen Miller and the like.

And he wonders how he ever got in the middle of such a hoax in the first place.

He said White House counsel Pat Cipollone “saw it after it was drafted.”

Reports vary as to whether Pat Cipollone was next seen entering an Emergency Room crying that he’s being chased by monsters, that the trees are speaking to him, and that he “needs some of the good shit just this one time, damn it!”

Let us just try to imagine how this all goes down. Trump knows that he is going to survive as president, at least that’s what we’re hearing from every direction. But Trump determines on his own that he is really really really pissed off that there will be  yet another asterisk by his name in the history books (he will be extremely lucky if it only notes impeachment, and isn’t followed by notations as to being the first president ever jailed after the fact and the first American president charged with spying for a foreign government), and because Trump is that unhappy, he’s going to let Pelosi know about it, damnit!

But he can’t let the lawyers know! They do all that smart stuff and think things through, like what it will all mean, how it will look and and and … And so he can’t have them in on drafting it because they’ll reject all the good stuff!! Instead, it’s a done deal and sends it out, reading like this!

Forget the witches for a moment. This little puss is whining that “he didn’t get a chance to put on evidence.” Those are the types of complaints that a lawyer might caution: “Dude, you are the one blocking like, literally everything from inside this building, perhaps you shouldn’t be crying about “not being able to put on evidence.”

“Attempted coup.”

I dunno about you, but “coups” are not written into the constitution. A lawyer might note that “coups” don’t usually end with the ruling party’s vice president elevated to office. They are usually done by the barrel of a AK-47 and generals chomping cigars. Ambassador Yovanovitch is not the type of person who leads a coup. She does stand for the rule of law and all that’s good about the United States. Which might explain why she is one of Trump’s public enemies at this point.

We also have to love that Trump is oh so worried about what this will do to Democrats in 2020, such that he’s going out of his way to warn the Democrats this will kill them in 2020. That is like a child threatening to hold his breath.

Except children have lawyers in legal proceedings.

Damn, this column is so unorganized, it needs a lawyer! Wait … It is still more cogent, well-intentioned and more grounded in sensible observation than Trump’s letter to Pelosi. Maybe because it’s written by a lawyer?

No, just sentient IQ 90ish type. Not Trump. And definitely not Stephen Miller.

Last thing. Did he actually think that this letter would do anything other than convince the Democrats – and the thinking public – that this man has to be removed one way or another as fast as constitutionally possible? What did he think he would accomplish? Lawyers are awfully good at asking: “What are we attempting to do with this communication?” Because we also know that writing angry letters just to let people know we’re angry almost always ends up hurting the author more than the recipient.

Ahhh, good times.

Not really. But couldn’t resist.

****

Peace, y’all

Jason

jmiciak@yahoo.com and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

 

 

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5 Comments on "Trump Actually Cut White House Lawyers Out of Writing Bizarro Letter"

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Liz
Guest

His helpers prettified a campaign rally rant. “Only the best people.”

mae
Member

This is pomposity of the highest order. He is kookoo.

kaja
Guest

It’s hard to believe that the authors actually believe the tripe they wrote. One thing is for sure, anything that is poorly written from the White House means little stevie miller had a hand in it.

Bareshark
Guest

You can always count on Trump to squander whatever overwhelming advantages he has to push himself towards humiliating defeat after humiliating defeat.

Joseph
Guest
Maggie Halberman needs to be reminded that not a single “witch” was burned in Salem. Only 20 people–none of whom were actual witches–were actually executed (19 by hanging, 1 by pressing*). Burning was a fairly common method of execution–in Europe; in America, especially the colonial period, burning was generally reserved for slaves who committed crimes, whether killing their owners or attempting rebellion (in Massachusetts, there were only 2 known cases in which the guilty was burned and both were female slaves). And, in Europe, burning was typically done in connection with charges of heresy and/or blasphemy (which, to a degree,… Read more »