In the interest of fairness, let’s say this about the Trump epistle to Pelosi today: it wasn’t written with crayons nor was it written with letters cut out of a magazine like the Zodiac Killer. Now, considering the author of this six-page tome, that demonstrates remarkable restraint. Nevertheless, as cogent and restrained as Trump could make it, Initial Caps, exclamation points (!!) and all, Neal Katyal, who was the solicitor general during the Obama administration, has declared it a misfire, and opines that now Trump must testify before the Senate.

The letter is a masterpiece, in it’s own right. Let me share my favorite paragraph with you, may I?

Before the Impeachment Hoax, it was the Russian Witch Hunt. Against all evidence, and regardless of the truth, you and your deputies claimed that my campaign colluded with the Russians — a grave, malicious, and slanderous lie, a falsehood like no other. You forced our Nation through turmoil and torment over a wholly fabricated story, illegally purchased from a foreign spy by Hillary Clinton and the DNC in order to assault our democracy. Yet, when the monstrous lie was debunked and this Democrat conspiracy dissolved into dust, you did not apologize. You did not recant. You did not ask to be forgiven. You showed no remorse, no capacity for self-reflection. Instead, you pursued your next libelous and vicious crusade — you engineered an attempt to frame and defame an innocent person. All of this was motivated by personal political calculation. Your Speakership and your party are held hostage by your most deranged and radical representatives of the far left. Each one of your members lives in fear of a socialist primary challenger — this is what is driving impeachment. Look at Congressman Nadler’s challenger. Look at yourself and others. Do not take our country down with your party.

I don’t know what aspect of this paragraph to remark on first — because remarkable is what it is. It’s beyond purple prose. It left that descriptor behind way back — vermilion verbosity or scarlet screeding might describe this tour de farce, but only just barely. And the consistency is delightful. Whichever bloviating fool wrote it, and my vote is Stephen Miller, they can’t do a better Trump self-parody over at SNL or The Onion.

Trump telling Pelosi that she refused to recant or show remorse is reminiscent of the high priest who gives the heretic one last chance to retract blasphemy before the hooded executioner brings down the ax. Jesus, this is magisterial pomposity to an exponential degree. This is how Trump sees himself, as not only above the law, but above criticism, or even comment — unless it’s fawning adoration. No wonder Nancy Pelosi dismissed this as “ridiculous” and “sick.” This is not how a head of state addresses a senior elected official — not in this country, at least not until now. Jake Tapper said the letter sounded like Kim Jong Un wrote it, good point.

At last word, even Fox News had a poll that said that a majority of Americans supported impeachment and a plurality supported impeachment and removal. Maybe it’s starting to dawn on Trump, who has lived a consequence-free life for 73 years, that he can’t lie or buy his way out of this one, and those are the only two solutions he has ever known to anything.

Let’s all gather together psychically, under the windows of Trump’s residence at the White House and sing, “So you don’t believe, we’re on the eve of impeachment?” Maybe he’ll hear us. He’s hearing voices anyway, if this tome is any indication, why not ours?

Come, sing it with me now.

You screwed the Syrians, their lives eroded
But you don’t  care, cause you’re still loaded,
The letter to Erdogan was thought a fake
But the one to Pelosi, that takes the cake,
You don’t believe in law, but only television
You thought you’d get rid of this, by simply wishin’
So you cry out, over and over and over as you sit and freak
That you can’t believe you’re on the eve of impeachment.
Maybe a spot of television will cheer Trump up. Oh, wait, there are five hundred demonstrations going on cross country tonight, with people chanting, “impeach and remove.” Kellyanne better make sure all the TVs are frozen on the Cartoon Channel, or there’s going to be hell to pay.
Liked it? Take a second to support Ursula Faw and PolitiZoom on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

16 Comments on "Obama Lawyer Declares Trump’s Letter Has ‘Boomeranged’ and Now He Has To Testify Before Senate"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Tin woman1
Guest

Cute poem/song.

mae
Member

Cool poem, ursula.👏

elna benoit
Guest

Good song. Eve of Impeachment or Eve of Destruction – here it is.

Darrel
Member

The use of big words and whole bunches of words in in a structured paragraph is miles ahead of the REAL DJT …
After some time, the cream may curdle, BUT
damn, there’s still McTurtle …..

michaelscott
Member

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating.
Forget impeachment. This fool needs the 25th amendment.
There has never been a clearer case for it. Too bad the rethugs are spineless.