Mr. Attorney General? Zero Plus Zero STILL Equals Zero!

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What did Fozzy the Bear say when he saw William Barr? Ewoka-woka-woka!

I don’t get it. What the hell is it with Trump appointees and free travel at our expense? When a Trump cabinet appointee’s ass hits his leather chair, his first phone call is to the White House travel office to hunt up a private government jet to head off to the fleshpots of Rio to check out deforestation. If the Department of the Interior is so concerned about the quality of the snorkeling waters of the Caribbean, why are they pushing for more off shore drilling?

In response to rodent squealing and bovine bleatings from the GOP minority following the Mueller investigation, the DOJ Inspector General opened an official investigation into the origins of the FBI’s investigation of the Trump campaign and Russia in 2016. The basic points of inquiry were the proper use of FISA warrants to surveil Carter Page, the FBI’s reliance on or lack thereof of the Steele dossier, and reports of FBI attempts to infiltrate the Trump campaign in 2016.

But that wasn’t good enough for The Mango Messiah. After all, the DOJ AG didn’t owe Trump anything, and who knew what he would say. So His Lowness got on the blower to Tubby the Ewok, and told him to hand pick somebody to do the job right. Which is how a serious, career, apparent straight shooter named John Durham got the job of ensuring that the tally came out right. And since you can’t get good help these days, Tubby decided to ride shotgun over the whole meshugass.

Which of course meant racking up oodles of GAO frequent flier miles. Off they went into the wild blue yonder, to places like Great Britain France, Spain, Italy, and Australia, meeting with government intelligence officials, and trying to fit their square information into Barr’s little round holes. If there was a scandal there to find, then Tubby was the one to find it, and if there wasn’t, fuck it, he’d invent one. And it was all hush-hush and James Bond-ish with Barr suddenly disappearing without any official word that he had even left his tree.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, including restful junkets under the disguise of an official government investigation. Next Monday, the DOJ Inspector General is expected to release his official report, and it’s pretty well guaranteed to give Tubby, and his boss, Jabba the Trump, a severe case of the sadz.

The report is widely expected, based on snippets already leaked to the press, to tell The Cheeto Prophet that he’s full of shit. No, Obama didn’t tap his phones in 2016. No, the FBI didn’t treat the Steele dossier like a newly found book in the New Testament. No, the FBI didn’t trample all over Carter Page’s civil rights. No, Lisa Page and Peter Strzok didn’t do anything wrong in telling each other what a piece of shit Trump was. And worst of all, it’s going to contain a little something that hasn’t been reported on much yet, but which will make Barr look like a total asshole if he does as expected, and disputes the report.

It was reported that in preparing his report, the DOJ IG reached out to John Durham, Barr’s hatchet man investigator, and asked him if he had found any evidence in his investigation into the origins of the FBI investigation. And Durham admitted that he had uncovered no evidence that conclusively contradicted the current wisdom of the events in question.

In other words, next Monday, the DOJ Inspector General is going to release a report that basically says nothing to see here. The FBI did not wiretap Trump, did not use the Steele dossier as an excuse to start the investigation, did not attempt to surveil or infiltrate the Trump campaign, and basically followed FBI and DOJ rules. After which William Barr will come out publicly and tell his very own DOJ IG that he’s full of shit. And he’ll do so knowing that after collecting enough frequent flier miles to get a free trip to Mars, his own hand picked investigator couldn’t find anything that the DOJ IG missed either. Man, I sure hope that the media highlights that little tidbit when the official report is released next week.

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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6 Comments on "Mr. Attorney General? Zero Plus Zero STILL Equals Zero!"

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blueman
Member

Pelosi may not hate, but I sure as hell do. What else is there to say? Barr and all Republicans are liars and traitors. I repeat, all Republicans from my family, my neighbors (white) and my Senators and my congressman are liars and traitors. What else is there to say?

Concinnity
Guest

Because they are Republicans.

dana fairfield
Member
As Joe Scarborough recently pointed out the Republicans and the evangelicals have ceded the high ground to Nancy Pelosi of all people, a liberal and a San Francisco liberal to boot. /s Meanwhile, Schiff faces a real peach of an opponent for his congressional seat in Eric Early. For a liberal state, California has some real doozies. “Adam Schiff is a viper,” Early told the Independent, referring to the high-profile leader of the House Democrats’ impeachment effort, who is also the longtime representative of L.A.’s 28th Congressional District. “I care deeply about this country,” he added. “And I hate Adam… Read more »
Darrel
Member
The biggest question is who is going to duck and hide when the orange shitgibbon implodes … which fart bag has the most exposure and least armor ? Mr. “Get over it”, in the WH …. Mr. Ghoul is probably going down sooner than DJT, as he is still NOT a WH official, but has pretended to be one, and, because of his OWN actions and rhetoric, Donny boy will fry him soon, think SD/NYC friends and neighbors, drooling for a chunk of both him AND DJT …. Then, because DJT is the complete idiot he is, and somebody a… Read more »
keenan
Member

Tubby the Ewok… love it!

What I don’t understand is why Tubby has not been disbarred from the American Bar Association of New York and the District of Columbia?