Liars, and Bribers, and Dares, Oh MY!


Just pour me a drink, and I’ll tell you my lies   Neil Diamond   Love n The Rocks

They’ve managed to come up with a saying for when either an outcome, or a circumstance is predetermined, they say that it’s already baked in the cake. If that’s what they’re going to say this weekend about the GOP’s televised defense of His Lowness as the noose tightens, then all I can say is that I haven’t seen a cake lie that way since my 4 year old tried to use her Easy Bake Oven while wearing mittens.

The biggest thing that I noticed this weekend was the total lack of coherence from Trump’s dwindling number of defenders willing to debase themselves in front of their constituents every Sunday morning. Cast your mind back to the Mueller investigation. The GOP messaging and discipline was almost perfect. That’s because it was linear and direct. Starting on Friday, the GOP response to the vote on the public hearing ground rules, as well as other events, has been all over the map.

There is a good reason for this. With Mueller, either Trump himself, or one of his comm shop mouthpieces tweeted or spoke the official “company line,” and everybody else just fell in line and parroted it. But since it became clear that there would be open hearings, and almost certainly articles of impeachment from the House, Trump has totally melted down, sending out hysterical tweets and statements, like Hitler in the Chancellery bunker, none of which are coherent for his minions to recite. And so you end up with a message that sounds like an answering machine that had a diet Coke spilled on it.

For instance, on the one hand, you’ve got Tom Cole, the congress critter from Oklahoma, who comes across on TV like one of those dudes who wants to sell you a used car on a Sunday morning wresting commercial, trying out the old Mueller we’re too fucking stupid to be criminals defense. His point was, “Look, forget the phone call, and the facts. What ultimately happened is that the money was released, and the Ukrainian government never did the investigation. If that’s a quid pro quo, then it’s got to be one of the shittiest quid pro quo’s I’ve ever seen.” Hell Tom, I agree, Trump is truly fucking pathetic, but the fact that it didn’t work doesn’t mean that it wasn’t attempted extortion!

And on the other hand, you have Representative Steve Scalise, who went with the old don’t look at that shit, look at this shit instead line of defense. When questioned about the scandal, Scalise looked earnestly into the camera, and lied his ass off, saying that there was no quid pro quo, that the phone call wasn’t about the Bidens, it was about corruption, all about Ukrainian meddling in the 2016 election on behalf of the Democrats. Personally, if was Steve Scalise, had been shot in the thigh and almost bled to death on a Virginia baseball diamond, required enough surgeries to construct Frankenstein’s monster, and lost a wheelchair race in the capitol rotunda to Senator Tammy Duckworth, the last thing I would be doing with my second chance would be wasting it shilling for a third rate scumbag like Trump.

And it only got worse from there. You have Trumpenstein himself, obviously not wanting to be impeached for a misunderstanding over the semantics of his phone call with Ukrainian President Zelensky, bidding fair to ensure that there is a brand new, free standing article of impeachment for attempted witness intimidation, by darkly implying to reporters over the weekend that he had some really nasty, juicy, next level shit about Lt. Colonel Alex Vindman, that he might be sharing when the time is right. And apparently, the whistle blower came out over the weekend, volunteering to anonymously answer written questions under oath, which was totally unacceptable to Trump, since he was the first one to clear his schedule, sit down in the Oval Office, and completely answer all of Robert Mueller’s questions face-to-face. I swear, this clod takes moron to an almost new level!

And then you have the RNC, paddlefooting away from Trump’s blatant bribery of three GOP US Senators, by explaining that their recent contributions to Tillis, Gardner, and McSally were scheduled infusions, while somehow or other glossing over the fact that Susan Collins, the only one who refused to sign onto Lindsey Graham’s moronic motion, somehow had her check get lost in the mail. Meanwhile, the actual Senators themselves are all doing a Duncan Hunter, desperately looking around for spouses to blame for the condition of their campaign finances.

There’s a perfectly good reason for all of this fluff and nonsense. It’s because Traitor Tot knows that he can still get away with it. While more and more pols are showing that there is a plurality of Americans that want His Lowness impeached and removed from office, it’s nowhere near a critical mass that could affect GOP Senate minds yet. And Schiff releasing the transcripts of the deposition testimony won’t do it either, Trump is already calling them doctored. It’s only when the open hearings start, and people are force fed facts instead of propaganda, especially on FUX News, that we’ll finally be able to see whether the needle for impeachment climbs to levels that could give GOP Senators pause. Until then, as GOP strategist Rick Wilson likes to say, “It’s just another Trump shit show.”

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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4 Comments on "Liars, and Bribers, and Dares, Oh MY!"

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p j evans

There are four Senators who have announced they’re retiring instead of running for re-election next year, and some others who are likely to lose – including Collins. (We hope there will be several more losers, including Moscow Mitch.)


It’s quite the conundrum. If you leave it too late to step off the sinking ship, you can’t get far enough away and you end up getting sucked under by the wreckage finally sinking.