I gotta tell ya, I’m a man of two minds, which is a waste, since I seldom use the first one. I can’t for the life of me decide whether Mitch McConnell is one of the dumbest sumbitches I’ve ever seen when it comes to Donald Trump, or one of the coldest and most devious sumbutches I’ve ever seen when it comes to Donald Trump. Pull up a pew, and I’ll explain.
Yertl McTurtle’s relationship with The Clueless Wonder is about as complicated as a guys relationship with his mother-in-law. You know you’ve gotta play nice if you want a harmonious home life, but at the same time, you so wouldn’t mind it if the pain in the ass was too busy texting to see that bus when she stepped off of the curb.
Emperor Numbus Nuttus has been a total disaster for McConnell. Trump has so emasculated McConnell that he looks like the biggest weenie since Barney Fife. Trump made the entire Senate GOP caucus look like morons with his selection of “Brewski” Brett Kavanaugh, a nomination which took a giant shit all over the GOP’s prospects in 2018. But McConnell had to swallow hard and soldier on. Because he needed Trump sedated and compliant when he rammed through that trillion dollar tax cut that major GOP donors were demanding. That second party pack from Taco Bell probably didn’t hurt either.
Trump has made McConnell look like a fool more times than can be counted, by promising things that Yertl can’t possibly deliver, and then publicly spanking him when he fails. But McConnell seems perfectly content to be a human bop doll, just so long as Trump keeps sending him half wit judges to ram through. Boy, talk about a sado-masochistic relationship.
Trump has also placed McConnell in electoral peril in 2020. McConnell’s popularity in Kentucky was already at a pathetic 33%, and Oleg Deripaska’s brazen attempt to buy the state of Kentucky for a paltry $200 million for an aluminum factory isn’t going over well. Neither is McConnell’s apparent guilt by association with Putin via Trump. And neither is his complicity in letting Trump pull tens of millions of dollars in military construction funds earmarked for Kentucky for his stupid vanity wall.
But McConnell’s biggest show of invertebrate subservience has been his stance on guns, and gun reform. There is 90% support for universal background checks on gun purchases, which is insane. If you get 10 people around a water cooler, you can’t get 9 of them to agree on a restaurant for lunch on the first ballot. And yet, McConnell refuses to move until Dipshit Donnie tells him what he’s signing. This is totally spineless, since it’s McConnell’s job to pass legislation, and then it’s up to Trump what he does with it after that.
And it’s on the issue of guns that I can’t make up my mind about Mitch McConnell’s weakness. Because McConnell taking no action on gun background checks is infuriating suburban and exurban GOP “soccer moms,” enraged that their kindergartners have to go through active shooter drills at school. But McConnell is deflecting and abdicating all of the blame to Trump, by basically saying “Hey! Don’t blame me, blame him! It doesn’t do any good for me to pass something if he won’t sign it!”
While I don’t know whether or not this naked cowardice will be enough to save Yertl’s gnarly old shell in Kentucky what I do know is that it could sound Trump’s death knell for reelection. Remember, Trump won the electoral college in 2016 by a total of 77,00 votes spread over three states, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. Trump is already bleeding white, non college educated women, who are suddenly discovering that they could lose their right to choose if this self absorbed hedonist has his way. With even a modest gain in African American turnout in Milwaukee, Detroit, and Philadelphia, there could be more than enough enraged former GOP suburban and exurban women to turn the trick. And that doesn’t even count the suburban GOP soccer moms in places like Cleveland, Miami, and Atlanta, along with Charlotte and Phoenix. And all because Mitch McConnell so sneakily laid the outrage over gun reform squarely at Donald Trump’s smelly, fat feet.
Now you know why I’m of a split mind on Mitch McConnell. But the really neat part is that he may have been way too damn cute by half. Because gun control advocates, like March For Our Lives, sick of the inactivity in congress, are starting to put pressure on major corporations who support GOP lawmakers who don’t back gun reform. They want these companies to stop donating to those incumbents until they have their come-to-Jesus moment. And who is the poster child for Senate inactivity on guns, and in the fight of his life, one where he needs every buck he can scrape together? Yertl McTurtle, take a bow, fool. Ain’t payback a bitch?
To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen