Trump Considering Dumping First Mate Pence


Who would ever have thought this could happen? Trump and Pence? They are like twins! With so much in common, a near identical set of priorities, past history, morals, and outlook on the world, how could there possibly be a gap between the two? Brace yourself, we hear reports that a “gap” is opening.

President Donald Trump publicly insists everything is fine between him and Vice President Mike Pence, but there do seems to be tensions between the two men and their teams.


How can tensions arise between two men that share the same figurative bed? They both face issues that inevitably arise within marriage. They both pay a price. One refuses to be alone with a woman to whom he isn’t married. The other pays a professional for women’s services and takes a good spanking as punishment. Different approach, same underlying concept, temptations threaten their marriage.

The real government, Jarvanka, is not impressed with the man who fears being spanked, the man unwilling to pay women for their work: Jarvanka feels strongly enough about the divergent approach that the “White House” had to deny their strong beliefs.

White House officials have denied rumors that Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump have discussed replacing Pence on the 2020 ticket with former UN ambassador Nikki Haley, but cracks have developed beneath the surface between the president and his running mate, reported Yahoo News.

Because rumors have a habit of starting themselves, this was a good idea. It certainly will end all speculation.

We should note that the assumption that Nikki Haley would allow herself to be alongside Trump in any context, never mind run as Vice President, seems a bit of a reach. Nikki Haley has proven herself to be her own woman, smart, sensible, a person self-aware enough to realize she is far more attractive than Mike Pence and not just politically. She has reason enough to sidestep Trump’s desires.

But Trump himself seems more bothered by his brother in arms, Mike Pence:

“The perception is that Pence’s team is difficult to work with,” said one Trump adviser, who said Trump occasionally seeks his staffer’s opinions on the vice president and his aides. “That just doesn’t come up organically. Somebody is saying that to the president.”

I understand.

I am sure that team Trump has difficulty finding common ground with someone who has not been pictured with Jeffery Epstein. Team Pence works for a man who fears his sexual desires enough to never be without “mother” in the presence of other women. Team Trump works for a man who engineered an entire squad of school girls to attend to him, avoiding even the appearance of being alone with an actual “woman.”

But friction has arisen.

Which is not to say that the VP team is willing to give up power over a little disagreement about how to treat women, or girls, as the case may be. This is, after all, about power, and power makes for strange bedmates (sorry, I will try to stop, no promises).

“There are certain pockets out there that want to solve their problems by replacing the running mate,” said one Pence adviser. “But we’re on the team. We might be JV, but we’re helping re-elect him.”

“We are helping to elect him because without him, we aren’t in bed with anyone but mother,” the Pence advisors did not say.

Trump’s campaign – true to Trump form, came up with a deviant plan. They set about to research Pence’s popularity, find out what Trump’s supporters think, see if the average Trump supporter is impressed with someone who won’t even lay out some cash for a “professional” experience. So, they did the poll, secretly, and the results indicated that a “swap” may satisfy a real need. (I am trying to stop, “believe me.”).

The question was already on the poll, which was conducted in 14 states, and the campaign learned that Pence’s favorability rating was higher than Trump’s — which Parscale wanted to keep from both Trump and his vice president.

Okay, that might not have been the swap Trump had in mind. It may well be the first swap Pence has fantasized about … probably not.

Evidently, the large Evangelical base that supports Trump thinks more highly of the man who does keep his vows to his wife, does go to church, doesn’t lie ten to twenty times a day, and despises LGBTQ people far more than a man so straight he will pay a substantial buck for an unworldly … never mind.

Poll or not, warning lights are flashing. But, Pence does appear to support prostitution if it satiates his deepest desire.

Haley’s out-of-nowhere public denial inflamed tensions two weeks ago, and some Pence advisers have complained that Trump expects his vice president to pass “loyalty tests” — which places into sharper relief his decision to stay at the Trump-owned Doonberg golf resort during official visit to Ireland.

See? Pence is more than willing to sleep around.

Still, Pence and his team feel “used,” to the surprise of no one but Pence and his team. They are not taking this lying down, they won’t be spanked. (Sorry).

“He’s on a tightrope,” said one RNC member, who helped put Pence onto the 2016 ticket. “If he takes Mike Pence off the ticket, that would just be despicable.”

Team Pence will not roll from its moral bedrock. They will look away from grabbing women by the pussy, they can deal with laundering Putin’s money, lying doesn’t bother them in the least, working for someone who proclaims himself to be the chosen one is fine, and they will even sleep in another man’s bed, but when it comes to denying their right to power? That is a sin, and they will steadfastly call it out as beyond the pale, ungodly, indeed an affront to God’s first commandment: “I am the Lord your God, though shall have no gods before me, except the man who has lifted you to office.” Pence has shown unimpeachable (so far) fidelity.

Okay, I must stop now.

Oh, one last thing. Pence really shouldn’t be surprised.

Trump has fcked everyone else willing to embrace him, I am not sure why Pence thinks he is special. Hard to deny, Pence had an itch, and it led to the ultimate affair. Sounds like it will leave him jilted. He shouldn’t feel that bad. Trump is a pro.


Peace, y’all. Run Mike, run away.

Jason, Follow me on Twitter!!! @MiciakZoom








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15 Comments on "Trump Considering Dumping First Mate Pence"

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Lone Wolf

Ha Ha, now Mike Penis is getting jerked around! Hahahahahaaaa!


HAHAHAHA Best thing I have heard lately!


Cross your fingers and hope that Trump finds out pence is more popular than he is.

Denis Elliott

Given all the grief he got from the Playboy interview back in the day (you have to have reached a certain age to understand) I can’t resist flipping a line that was used to mock Carter on to Pence – Ole Mikey “Lusts in his heart!”


Ah, Jimmy, the ex-President who I’m becoming convinced will bury ALL his successors. I will always say that Trump is the Bizarro version of Jimmy in that both men mark the end of their respective coalitions, were outsiders that came because all the insiders were spent and made names for themselves in business before they got into politics. That said, they are 180 degrees away from each other on everything else, hence the Bizarro tag.


Serious question: if Mike Pence were dropped from the ticket, would anybody even notice he was gone?


Didn’t Trump shoot this down a week or two ago? And if for any reason he was lying, he definitely wouldn’t pick Haley — he doesn’t respect women enough. This is clickbait.

Nancy M Parker

Trump lies. Also changes his mind more often than his clothes, except about his own infallibility.