Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes me miss President Obama more than an appearance by Kellyanne Conway on my electric TV.
Obviously, you might retort; “But of course Trump is ten times worse because he is the actual president.”
Oh, yeah? Except Trump does something that makes me want to crawl under the Earth’s crust, and then Kellyanne appears on television to explain why I don’t see Trump’s inner-genius. I am more bothered by the actual human being knowing she is being a lesser life form than the lesser life form not understanding what it is to be human.
If you follow what I just wrote, congrats. I sure don’t. But it feels right.
Anyway, today, Kellyanne went wandering into the her favorite habitat, her land of milk and honey, the Eden we call hell, aka “Fox News.” But even Fox appeared turned off by the “president’s” ridiculous conspiracy tweet involving the Clintons. So, she got asked to explain the dangerous idiocy.
Something about the question made Kellyanne sick to her stomach, because she threw-up sentence-like fragments all over my television.
Now you’re asking “How bad was it, ’cause I ain’t goin’ over there to find out.” Your loyal servant as always:
“I think the president just wants everything to be investigated,” Conway told Fox News’ Bill Hemmer. “There was some unsealed information implicating some people very high up.”
She continued: “I will say, Bill, that there’s always this rush to ‘we need transparency, we need accountability,’ when it involves fictional accusations like collusion with Russia to swing an election. This seems to be very concrete in that Jeffrey Epstein has done some very bad things over a number of years.”
Yes, there were some high-up people implicated, people like your boss, who specializes in projection. And, Kellyanne? You still didn’t answer the question.
Readers? I need your help in deciphering what the ever-living-fuck the “rush to judgment” in the Russia thing has to do with anything about anything besides why Trump should be impeached.
Every time I hear Kellyanne speak, I feel IQ points slipping out of my skull. You folks carrying around 140 of those things wouldn’t even miss them. I am down around 88, lose a couple and I am having trouble making change for a dollar.
The only, and I mean the only, delicious irony to all this, is that she happens to be married to a man who, if they speak at all, tells her that she works for the worst president in history. He probably reminds her that she is wasting what might have been a decent career as a small town real-estate agent, had she ever learned to keep her mouth shut. I bet they don’t sleep together, either, but now we’re getting pretty far afield. A field I don’t want to even see.
I should stop now, for my health and yours. As I noted, nothing quite bothers me like … no, no, my therapist said “deep breaths, deep breaths.”