As I write this, Trump is on the ground in Dayton, stop one of his “Greatest Shits” tour. Maybe he can stop by and autograph the Trump Baby Blimp, that would be a nice gesture. For four long years now, I’ve long held the belief that the only things that Trump could unite were his upper plate and his lower plate, preferably through the middle of a bacon double cheeseburger. That just goes to show what an incredible dumb ass I can be when I put my mind to it.
But it turns out that The Mango Messiah has grown wonderfully into the job of Uniter in Chief. Just cast your mind back a scant month or so. What was happening? Well, Nancy Pelosi was engaged in a school yard pissing contest with the unsinkable Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez, and by association, with the rest of The Squad as well. It was quite the little squabble, and the GOP was lapping it up like a kitten with a pint of cream, gloating about how AOC and her crew were tearing the soul of the Democratic party apart, radicalizing it for the election.
And then what happened. Well, in the words of one sage journalist, “The Democratic caucus was in a traditional Democratic circular firing squad, and into the middle wandered Donald Trump, and focused all of the incoming on him.” And that’s exactly what happened. With his racist Trumper tantrum against Ilhan Omar and the rest of The Squad, Trump united not just Pelosi and AOC, but the entire Democratic caucus. Pelosi and AOC held their secret summit, and while I’m sure there are still swollen fee-fee’s on both sides, they’ve buried the hatchet somewhere else but each other, and are presenting a united front against Il Douche.
Now fast forward your minds to two weeks ago. The Democratic Presidential primary field, after a couple of debates hosted by CNN moderators who obviously wanted to bulk up their resumes to go along with their applications for spots at FOX News, tore each other apart in front of millions of people. Speed dial to four days ago. Twenty-two people, many of Mexican or Hispanic heritage are murdered in an El Paso Walmart, and twenty-four more are injured. And where does the attention immediately shift? To the racist diatribes of Emperor Numbus Nuttus, thanks in large part to the identical insane rantings contained in the steaming pile of shit that the El Paso murderer posted online within an hour of committing his atrocity. And instantly, every Democratic candidate on the stump is united, locked arm-in-arm against Trump and his hateful, racist rhetoric, which are tearing the country apart.
This is what I keep writing about. The election is now less than 15 months away, and you can pretty well set your watch by the fact that on more or less a monthly basis, Der Gropinfuror is going to pull some insane shit that unites the entire Democratic party, along with the rest of the right thinking world, against him. Hey, dog’s gotta howl, right. But now is when every Democratic presidential candidate, as well as all congressional and Senate challengers, should make hay while the sun shines. Get your A#1, top of the line, bestest sound bites ready, and get them caught on camera. Because you’re going to want to use them later, in attack ads, against whichever pathetic loser you end up running against. There will be more tragedies, but this one is different. This time, the mainstream media is openly connecting Donald Trump with radical white supremacist domestic terrorists. These moments don’t come around often, so best not to waste them.