If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again.


I gotta start buying stock in Johnson & Johnson, the company that makes band aids. Because, I swear, if I had a lousy buck for every time Emperor Numbnuts I shot himself in the foot, I wouldn’t need my disability benefits, I could buy Jeffrey Epstein’s private island at auction once the government seizes it upon his conviction.

You know, for a guy who brands himself as the worlds ultimate winner, Trump sure seems to spend a lot of time standing in front of microphones and cameras, explaining exactly why his fuck ups aren’t really his fault. And again, this appearance was totally unnecessary. When the Supreme Court slapped Trump’s crank down on that question, the DOJ’s response was basically, “Oh well, some you win, some you lose, and some just get rained out.” But The Pampers President had to run his pout flag up the pole, and so again he has to try to explain how this defeat is actually a stunning victory.

Trump’s bold and decisive alternate plan of action to deal with the citizenship issue is two pronged, and almost totally incoherent. The first prong is to blame the Democrats, as well as those damn activist librul courts for all of his legal ills. The second prong was to issue an executive order compelling all federal government agencies and departments to immediately turn over any census related material that they routinely collect to the Commerce Department upon request. In other words, to do exactly what they’re doing right now. DHS and Social Security were mentioned, both of which the census bureau regularly mines for data, with no friction. I believe the operative phrase I’m looking for here is a circle jerk.

But, being the silver tongued orator that he is, El Pendejo Presidente couldn’t resist letting his Freudian slip show. He spoke earnestly about the importance of having an accurate tabulation of both citizens, as well as non citizen populations. But he couldn’t leave well enough alone, he just had to go and piss in the punch bowl by breaking the second category down into non citizens and illegal immigrants! The obvious conclusion being that Trump wants to use the census to identify and target undocumented immigrants for suture punitive action.

But the actual motive is far darker and more sinister, and it’s also pure GOP. Speaking after Trump, and taking one for the team for his failure to be able to hijack his way into getting the citizenship question on the census, Attorney General Bill “Tubby the Ewok” Barr let the goodies slip out of the Christmas stocking. Barr spoke of the possibility of the government using only the “citizenship” population numbers in apportioning congressional seats to states, as well as individual states using solely citizenship numbers to guide them in their redistricting maps in 2021. Both moves would be blatantly unconstitutional, since the constitution calls for the “population” to be counted every 10 years, not just US citizens.

This is desperation ball being played by the GOP. As population migration changes the demographics of traditional GOP strongholds in places like the New South, where new businesses are bringing in an influx of minorities, including aliens in the country legally on work visas, it is becoming harder for the GOP to successfully gerrymander. In trying to use the “citizenship” matrix, the GOP is trying to disenfranchise not only undocumented immigrants, but even legal aliens on work visas, who pay taxes, and whose children should be counted for things such as federal education funding for the states, as well as a whole range of other services.

So there you have it. Once again the worlds greatest winner shows himself to be the worlds biggest loser, and being a total loser, frames his loss in such a way as to ensure that he continues to be a perpetual loser in the future. What a way to run a railroad.

Liked it? Take a second to support Joseph "Murfster35" Murphy and PolitiZoom on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

13 Comments on "If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again."

newest oldest most voted
jennifer braveheart

Once again you nailed it. A great truthfully written article!

jennifer braveheart

Your Snark” was perfect!

p j evans

It’s clear that Tr*mp doesn’t actually have a clue what citizenship information is collected by the various departments and agencies. (Hint to him: not much.)


I was imagining, all the different agencies, with all their different data collection, rules, etc., sending all their information to the white house and them trying to put it all together. Of course it will be on a lot of different programs, so they’ll have to write something to bring them all together – sure, they’ll get a real accurate count.

rory darjiit

I feel the gay porn industry might write you a letter admonishing the way you’ve insulted circle jerks, but maybe not.

Anyway…you’re illustrating a really central question for our time. Just what is the GOP project here in regard to Hispanics? Do they think eventually all will be “forgive and forget?” It feels like they’re trying to purposefully cement in opposition.

George W….god awful president, but understood that the coalition needs to evolve to survive.


At the risk of blaspheming the Eagles’ “After The Thrill Is Gone”, it’s almost like Trump no longer cares about winning, but he don’t want to lose.