I’m now officially on “Resignation Alert” for Alex Acosta. As I type this, Acosta hasn’t even started answering questions about his craven fold-spindle-mutilate on the Jeffrey Acosta case, and I’ve already heard enough. Acosta has to go, and I think it will be sooner rather than later.
Those of you who read me regularly have often seen me use the word blivet as a descriptive phrase, blivet meaning 8 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag. Well today, Alex Acosta reached the uber blivet category, which I had to create especially for him, 25 lbs of shit in a 3 lb bag.
The real problem for Alex Acosta is that his explanation makes absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever! None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Acosta, craven coward that he is, immediately attempted to throw the Florida States Attorneys office under the bus, by claiming that the Epstein case started out as a state case, and that the state was willing to let Epstein walk on a single charge that carried no jail time, and no registration as a se offender. That may well be true, but if so, then how is it any skin off of Alex Acosta’s nose? It’s not his case, let the Florida SA take the heat.
That’s where the train leaves the tracks, on the middle of a bridge over the Alps. According to Acosta, it was the Florida US Attorneys office that swept in, like an avenging angel, to lay down the law for Epstein, either plead guilty to a stiffer state charge, one that carried mandatory jail tie and sex offender registration, or prepare for the wrath of God in a federal trial with heavy jail tie. What a mensch this Acosta hardass is, huh?
There are two basic problems with this explosion of pixie dust Acosta is trying to blow up everybody’s ass, both of them obvious to even non legal observers. First, just who the fuck does Alex Acosta think he is, anyway? Since when does a blundering buffoon like Acosta get to dictate the terms of a state originated plea deal? A US Attorney should have absolutely no say or sway in how a local prosecutor manages a state case, that’s kinda where states rights come in, and I can’t imagine a state prosecutor being very happy with Acosta sticking his big, fat, federal nose into their affairs.
The second problem is even worse for Acosta. Since when do federal prosecutors use the threat of a federal prosecution to get a defendant to plead guilty to stiffer state charges? This makes absolutely no sense at all, legal or otherwise. Either you have a case, or you don’t. If you have a case, and Acosta had a 54 page indictment ready to go before the grand jury, and you see a state prosecutor getting ready to cut a candy ass plea deal, you rush the case before the grand jury, get your indictment, and take over with a federal prosecution. What federal prosecutor, with an average or above ego, and an eye to climbing the ladder, wouldn’t prosecute a case that didn’t just put a child sexual predator, but a rich shitpoke child sexual predator behind bars for the rest of his life?!? Those are the kinds of headlines that careers are made of! And if he didn’t have a case, then he’d be taking a helluva risk in using the threat as a cudgel, only to have the defendant’s attorney turn around and call his bluff.
Alex Acosta’s excuse stinks like yesterdays diaper, as Baby Herman is wont to say, and either way it means that he has to go. The feds must have had a case, no sane prosecutor would make a threat like that, and risk losing if the bluff was called and they had to go to trial, that would mean that Epstein would get off scot free, which would mean crucifixion in the media. And if they actually had the case, then it would be inexcusable to not bring it forward, and get this vicious scumbag off of the streets once and for all. Which only begs the question, why didn’t Acosta try the case? That’s the question that Alex Acosta went before the media today to answer, and he failed miserably.
And so, once again I find myself on official Resignation Alert for yet another totally useless cabinet member of a totally useless and corrupt Trump administration. And once again I can only say what I said once before, ADIOS MOTHERFUCKER!