There was a Beverly Hillbillies episode back in the day that featured Jed Clampett wearing a tuxedo. Even a hillbilly sit com character looked more convincing in fancy threads and eating caviar than the character in the White House.

Long story short, if you’re just now tuning in, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles must be atoning for some terrible crime, either in this lifetime or a previous one, because they were forced to drive to Winfield Hall, the home of the American ambassador, to have dinner two nights in a row with Trump and Melania.

The American ambassador, just by the by, is Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets. Nobody ever told Trump that you just don’t appoint one of your a$$hole friends to the Court of St. James, but if you had told him, he wouldn’t have listened, so what does it really matter?

In any event, Melania was decked out in a floor length red gown. All she needs now is the dagger and the pentacle and she’s all set to be an acolyte of Satan, no problem. I wonder if she drank blood during dinner? God knows she was dressed for it. But if you take a look at the photo, she basically blends in with the rug, so perhaps that was the motivation, a desire to just sink into the floor and be gone. We can’t say we blame her one bit, on that score.

So, dinner proceeded. Now, you’ll be relieved to know that Trump didn’t send out for fast food — although the menu was boringly plain, considering this was a state occasion. Naturally, Trump had steak and potatoes, his was probably burnt with lots of ketchup. Dessert was vanilla ice cream. My God, these people are lacking in imagination and savoir faire — on top of everything else.

In any event, maybe the vanilla ice cream gave Trump’s tum tum an ache-y, because he was up at 1:30 a.m. attacking Bette Midler. Anyhow, here’s what went down. You figure it out.

 

Now I’m going to go on record here, saying that I don’t blame Midler for falling for this. I once almost posted a piece from the New Yorker about Ben Carson looking for HUD in the Bible and somebody stopped me in time and said, “Don’t post it, it’s Andy Borowitz,” who writes the satire column for the magazine. Carson is so emphatically stupid, that it’s impossible to parody him, and that’s why it almost slipped past me. I’m sure you caught his latest gaffe, when a congresswoman asked him about REO and he said Oreo? The SNL writers can’t write better than that. And this is on the congressional record now, stupidity for the ages, for all mankind to see.

So, Midler made an honest mistake, owned up to it, and promptly apologized. She’s a lady and I applaud her. Let me just interject this about apologies, because Donald Trump has never made one and considers it a sign of weakness. An apology makes a statement to the person apologized to that the person’s feelings are important enough for you to make an effort to set things straight. Trump not only did not graciously accept Midler’s amend, he went off his rocker — and at 1:30 a.m.

Interesting how he puts “your great president” in quotes — like you or I would do, if we were actually saying the opposite, and wanted to make sure our snideness got across. Freudian slip?

Now, here’s the tweet that probably set Trump off, and made it impossible to accept Midler’s retraction.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! I love it! Donald, you SHOULD NOT eat rat poison! It’s bad for you!

In any event, tomorrow is the last day of the three day siege of Britain by Trump. Londoners’ sensibilities haven’t been so violated since the blitzkrieg. Camilla Parker Bowles winked at the cameras when Trump first arrived, an image that has since gone viral. British tongues are planted firmly in cheek and everybody is just trying to get on with it.

Prince Phillip didn’t show up for Trump at all. The man is 97 years old and has arguably had enough of this kind of horse and pony show — although I daresay in almost a century of life he has never seen anything like Trump. And apparently, he wants it that way. For him, the arrival of Trump never took place.

Would that the same was true for us.

 

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41 Comments on "Trump’s Dinner w/Royals Must Have Gone Swell, He’s Up All Night Fighting w/Bette Midler"

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anastasjoy
Member

I love the irony quotes around “your great president.” Perfect. And he had no idea he was doing that!

Camilla looks lovely.

Lil Blue Sock
Member

Bette…..the next time you feel the need to help us…..

don’t.

Thanks.

Bareshark
Guest

Regarding Melania, that bit about the pentagram made me realize that she actually looks like a Hammer Horror movie starlet who accidentally stepped through a time warp, a bit like a defective clone of Ingrid Pitt (RIP to a true lady of humor and class).

Cmae
Guest

A fellow hammer movie fan!😊

Cmae
Guest

Oh, and what a complete embarrassment trump and his family of nitwits are.

Bareshark
Guest

A fan of many years standing, yes. Pitt was actually my introduction to such through Countess Dracula, which I saw when I was about 11 on the old USA network. Still think the world of the late Peter Cushing and Sir Christopher Lee…certainly much more than I do for the Trump clan.

Cmae
Guest

I watched USA up all night too, my favorite was Creature Features. I loved a movie called ‘Blood on Satan’s claw,’ lol, I think it was about witches. It has been so long. I thought Barbara Steele was so beautiful, as was Ingrid Pitt.

Nancy M Parker
Guest

The dress is actually quite classy, don’t know what you all are going on about. Compared to some of her other choices this trip, she’s stylin’.
He seems to have gotten a decent tailor for this black-tie affair, unlike the disastrous tailcoat and waistcoat. Pity the royals who have to try to converse with him in civilzed fashion, though.

Darrel
Member
The so-called POTUS, is showing he is STILL the biggest blithering idiot in anything to do with international relations, and his incompetence is glaringly dangerous … As he seems to have an obvious problem with communication skills and ALWAYS lets his narcissism be his voice, which directly threatens the stability and security we once had, there was absolutely no gain for the UK or ourselves by his turkey trot in London … His voicing things about China’s supply chain to our manufacturers and how they are cheating and attacking our economy, his non-knowledge of how trade works and complete idiocy… Read more »
Bareshark
Guest

Which begs another question, Darrel…why has the Chinese not done so already? Best answer I can come up with (and this is strictly based on what few solid facts I know and some gut instinct): they’d lose just as much as we would at this point. The One Belt, One Road program is solidifying their international ties, trade included, but we currently remain their best customer, I suspect. Of course, as you also pointed out, Trump’s mouth, which never signed a check it could actually cash, may make them decide to say the hell with it.

Darrel
Member
I suspect you are right, but when I think of all the stunts of stupidity by Trump, even against the advice of experts, “just because I’m the President”, he COULD and has embarrassed the US with rants against those that provide important supports for our mainstream manufacturing system … there is no thought on his part, absolutely wants to be a rableraiser to call attention to his importance … CHINA could do this anytime, and since THEY own this system and COULD supply other nations like Putin’s kingdom or NK/SK or other near neighbors at will, without bothering to OK… Read more »
Ann
Guest

It’s not just because he can, It’s because he truly believes he’s smarter than literally anyone else. Doesn’t matter if he knows anything about it; his gut tells him what to do. Terrifying.

Denis Elliott
Member
Well, at least his tux appears to be properly tailored/fitted. I still can’t get over just how ghastly his White Tie get up was for a freaking official State Dinner! For a guy who fancied himself the epitome of high class that was as tacky as it could have gotten. Even for someone who doesn’t know the particulars of White Tie it was clear that even if he was the 6’3″ he claims to be (he’s not) he weighs a helluva lot more than 239 pounds (a number specifically chosen in his annual physical reports because one more pound would… Read more »
Bareshark
Guest

Personally, I think the drunken hobo could have pulled it off better. And it would be highly ironic if Trump’s notoriously loose lips accomplished all you’re theorizing vis-a-vis Brexit. Can’t imagine that making Vlad happy.

p j evans
Member

I was following a twitter thread where they were analyzing his clothing, and a post where they were talking about the proper fit for white-tie-and-tails. You’d think that someone on the WH staff, or in the State Department, could have gotten through to them How It’s Done. (Himself seems to go for “off the rack” suits, even though they don’t fit him either, and he has no clue how they should fit, at all.)

Pogoatty
Guest
“All she needs now is the dagger and the pentagon, and she’s all set to be an acolyte of Satan, no problem.” The pentagon? A five sided building that houses the top echelon of the military? Didn’t know Satan was into five sided buildings. I think her husband has the pentagon. All their blather about Trump needs to not politicize the military is rather amusing. I hope all the WWII vets at the DDay ceremonies tomorrow have USS McCain hats to wear. McCain was one of their admirals during that war, well decorated and sunk Uboats. If we could only… Read more »
SuzC
Guest

oh my!
I remember that Jed Clampett episode! I knew Trump-in-Tux looked familiar and THAT IS IT! He looks like he’s wearing Jed Clampett’s tux! Right down to the big belly. LOL. Thx.