“Washington is broken, and I alone can fix it. Washington doesn’t know how to cut deals, and they don’t know hoe to run a business. I’m a successful businessman, and I’m a complete outsider, I can shake Washington up and make it work!”
Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. That was Donald Trump’s sorry, old, lame ass shtick, that as an outsider, he alone could shake up Washington Dc and make it fly right. Now, where have us old time political junkies heard that one before.
But it turns out that Trump was right, he actually is an outsider, just not in the way he intended to be one. In Washington DC, Trump is the same kind of outsider that Black people were when they tried to rent from him and his racist father 40 years ago. He’s an outsider in the way that women, and blacks, and Asians with CPA’s were outsiders when His Lowness only wanted “Jewish guys wearing yarmulkes touching his money” at his flopping Atlantic City casinos.
DC has seen Donald Trump and his kind repeatedly over the years, and they chew him up and spit him out before breakfast. Donald Trump hasn’t accomplished a damn thing. Since being sworn in, Trump has accomplished exactly what those two consummate Washington insiders, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan, wanted him to accomplish. Namely, giveaway tax nuts for their wealthy donors, and wing nut conservative judges. Anything else? Not so much. But when it came to things like repealing Obamacare, they somehow or other just couldn’t quite manage to whip the votes in the Senate, which is exactly what Paul Ryan was counting on when he called the bill to the floor for a vote in the House. And when Trump wanted to give Vlad the Imp his half a trillion from Exxon-Mobil, congress quickly took away his toy, passing a law that required congressional approval for lifting sanctions. And they haven’t bee shy about distancing themselves publicly from his outrageous statements and tweets, laughing them off as they do with so much about him.
And Trump strains to remain an outsider at all costs. even a hydro-cephalic newt knows that the real “art of the deal” is compromise, apparently the only four letter word that Trump won’t use. Trump’s negotiating tactic remains “My way or the highway,” and Nancy Pelosi is perfectly top poodle on down the road in her ink Cadillac. Especially since she holds the triple threat over his head, the budget, the debt ceiling, and passing the USMCA he covets more than a porn star.
But the good news is that nothing lasts forever Sooner or later, Trump’s time as a Washington outsider will end, and he can go back to being a New York insider. And specifically, if we’re really lucky, he’ll end up being a long term “insider” at the Dannemora Correctional Facility, following his conviction on multiple state criminal counts. And knowing Trump, he’ll negotiate his way into a cell next to the noisy ice machine.
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