Trump Slaps Japan’s Customs In The Face, We Know It’s Because He’s Too Fat To Sit Cross-Legged

32
751

Did you hear that Toyko rocked with an earth tremor, as Air Force One was preparing it’s final descent with Donald Trump onboard? It did indeed, which shows that even Mother Earth was not looking forward to this buffoon landing — say, you suppose She could arrange for Trump to enter that space in the Twilight Zone where the plane just flies and flies, through all of earth’s past, and can’t catch up to its own time?

Nah, we can’t get that lucky, we’re going to have to sit through this episode to the bitter end, whatever that might be. In the meantime, Trump is trashing Japanese customs. They graciously invited him to present a trophy at the Sumo wrestling championship Sunday and Trump will show up — but he refuses to sit cross-legged on the cushion provided, thereby flouting, if not mocking, centuries of Japanese tradition, which, needless to say, was honored by the presidents before him.

Now, the yous and mes know that the reason Trump won’t even try is because he’s too fat and he knows how ridiculous he will look, getting up and down off the floor, even with Melania and four Secret Service men propping him up. But that’s not how it’s framed in the international press — at least, not yet. Reuters:

Masaru Tomamoto, 73, said he sympathized with Trump but nonetheless would prefer the U.S. leader to follow custom.

“I also want to sit on chair as we watch sumo wrestling,” admitted Tomamoto over a steaming bowl of chanko nabe, the stew favored by sumo wrestlers.

“But if (Trump) watches a Japanese traditional sport, sumo, I think that it would be much better for him to sit cross-legged with the cushion on the floor, rather than on chair.”

Izumi Chiba from Sapporo in northern Japan echoed the sentiment: “As we say, when you are in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

Trump will have to climb onto the ‘dohyo’ – or sumo ring – to present the award alongside Abe. Shoes are typically not worn on the dohyo so he may have to wear slippers or shoe covers.

Almost one-eighth of the 11,000 seats have been reserved for Trump, Abe and their security teams. Ordinary attendees will have to go through security checks, media reported.

Now, canned beer is usually sold, but is expected to be banned from the front section, according to D.C. Tribune, which quipped, “Can you imagine sitting near Trump, watching him be a colossal dick to your customs, and not even be able to drink?!”

A quick, and truthful, rewrite of this story would be:

“Toyko: Fat slob American president touches down in Air Force One today, while even the earth shakes — she must be throwing up as Donald Trump draws near — and we can’t say we blame her.

“The rotund pig that regularly squats in the Oval Office has been invited to honor our finest Sumo wrestler with a trophy. And what does he do? Does he accept this honor like a statesman and a gentleman? Hell no. He refuses to sit on the ceremonial cushion provided, or take his shoes off, because he knows; 1. Taking his shoes off, which contain lifts, will expose the lie that he is 6’3” and 2. Flailing around trying to get up and down off the ground will make him look ridiculous and so he is foregoing that circus act, for obvious reasons. The press has more than enough reasons to laugh at him.

“Meanwhile, he tweets sweet nothings at Kim Jong-Un, who would just as soon blow him to smithereens as spit on him and he’s too stupid to know that.

“We are a proud people who have overcome much misfortune and we shall overcome Donald Trump. Many blessings and much sympathy for the poor American servicemen who gave their lives on our shores during WWII — that the country they died for should sink to this.

“We actually envy them, however, because at least they are mercifully dead and do not have to suffer the presence of this beast, as do we.”

Now THAT would be an accurate accounting of Trump’s visit to Japan, and some op/ed person may pen it, but don’t look for it to be in the next few days.

Liked it? Take a second to support Ursula Faw and PolitiZoom on Patreon!

Leave a Reply

32 Comments on "Trump Slaps Japan’s Customs In The Face, We Know It’s Because He’s Too Fat To Sit Cross-Legged"

avatar
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Denis Elliott
Member

So he’s off insulting another ally. Maybe I’m overly bitter these days especially given the news about what he’s empowered Barr with (is our republic already dead and doesn’t know it?) but the ugly part of my character is glad he’s not here in the states making insulting statements at Arlington.

Bareshark
Guest

To answer your question, not yet. Mr. Tangerine Man and his cronies absolutely suck on fostering loyalty and this move will do a lot to put them in Dutch with the Alphabet Soup agencies. Without that support, they got nothing.

Lone Wolf
Member
Oh no, almost as soon as he landed, what’s the first thing he started spouted off about? The ‘witch hunt’ and how he’s been treated so badly, him him him, trying to make his case for re-election, he’s not a crook, he’s the greatest president ever, bullshit on top of bullshit, lies, lies, and more lies, the soiled pamper dick-tator wannabe, who is so innocent and has had to endure 2+ years of “presidential harassment” at the hands of those angry democrats, but fear not as our fearful president bone spurs has a plan for everything as he knows everything… Read more »
jan4insight
Member

Well, to be fair – it could be somewhat difficult to do all that with bone spurs 😉

Darrel
Member

I’m living with heel spurs and I would have trouble getting down and back up, but in a situation at this level of importance to our country, and the whole world for that matter, I’d sure as hell try …, asking politely for a hand from one of the SS people, suffering through all the BS DJT delivers constantly … as unstable in all ways that Donald is, he’d roll like a ball if not exactly centered on the cushion. 🙂 😉

Bareshark
Guest

The Ugly American strikes again. If it weren’t for the fact that Japan’s national security wasn’t completely dependent on the US, I wouldn’t be surprised if Japan tells Mr. Tangerine Man to eff off and never come back.

Lil Blue Sock
Member

I pulled my hamstring and have a problem with my hip and for once I have to agree with Dotard Donald…..if I could even possibly get down I certainly wouldn’t be able to get up!!! 🙂

Besides, I don’t find the thought of obese men wearing only a diaper trying to push each other out of a circle appealing in any way.

…..just me. *shrugs*

Bareshark
Guest

Yeah…just you. Nothing personal against you, I promise. I just see no reason to cut this crass fool any slack, especially since his physique looks like he’s been training for a sumo match.

Lone Wolf
Member

Never, not even in jest, agree with the dotard. Not. Here.

Chris Forfucksakes
Guest

There’s a reason Tillerson coined him a “moron” ……just sayin’

Lone Wolf
Member

You mean like, that he IS a moron?

anastasjoy
Member

How dare you fat shame! LOL.

HollyValera
Member

Wish to Christ the idiot traffic cone would give sitting on a cushion a try: physical science suggests that once he’s on the ground, it’ll take days to get him upright again, and we could all use the break.

Grosnick Von Scwanker
Guest
Grosnick Von Scwanker

Without question, this potus is the most pathetic, inept POS that’s ever entered American politics. May he choke to death on a Big Mac soon. Peace.