Donald Trump is a used car salesman. He didn’t “Make America Great Again,” but he did turn back the odometer. Jim Carrey
Look, I’m not going to bore everybody, myself included, in retelling all of the ways that El Pendejo Presidente is full of shit, that’s baked in like raisins in oatmeal cookies. But there’s one very particular kind of shit that he’s full of, that’s going to be more fun than the barrel that the monkeys came in to watch play out.
Donald Trump is a prognosticator extraordinaire. He’s kind of like a reverse Nostradamus. Where Nostradamus foretold the future, Trump likes to rewrite the past, with himself as the dominant character. Trump is fond of saying ego serving shit like “I would have been more popular than Lincoln,” or, “If I was the emperor, Rome never would have fallen,” or even, “If I had owned the New Jersey Generals, they would have won a Super Bowl…Um, wait.”
But if there is one historical prognostication Trump loves above all others, it’s what would have happened if he had gotten the chance to run against his most hated rival. “Oh, how I wish that I had the chance to run against Obama, I would have mopped up the floor with him!” Um, quick question. What stopped you, tough guy? In 2008, and again in 2012, you teased us with it, the way a guy teases his cat with a laser pointer. Why didn’t you announce, right then and there, and let the games begin, you chickenshit? You were so powerful that you even made poor Mitt Romney debase himself by running to grovel at your feet, why not take the plunge?
But Glorious Bleater is about to get his fondest wish, and the GOP is scared shitless. Donald Trump is going to get the chance to run by proxy against Barack Obama, because the political Ayatollah-of-rock-and-rolla is in da house! But, in the typical gutless Trump fashion, he’s running against Obama in a way that can’t hurt himself personally, only his party.
ursulafaw just did an outstanding job of profiling which would be the “political anomaly” broadly, Trump or Obama. but I’m looking at this through a narrower prism. To my mind, there is no question as to who the anomaly was/is, it is clearly Donald Trump. Barack Obama ran a traditional campaign, in the traditional political way, espousing traditional political views, just in an incredibly motivational and inspirational way. Donald Trump was like a dolly grip crashing the after party at the Oscars. It’s not even a question.
To get a good feel for the probable outcome of this match up of the titans, you only have to look at the core message of each one of them. In California, President Obama literally said, “Y’all gotta get out there in November and vote, to save our democracy!” And what was Donald Trump’s most effective counter argument? “You gotta get out there and vote to save my dumb, criminal ass!” Man, talk about soaring rhetoric. Obama is dead meat.
And do me a favor, leave Obama alone fer Crissakes! We don’t need Obama to be an attack dog against Trump, after all, if you wrestle with a pig, you end up muddy, and we don’t need to have the Prez dirtying up his threads like that. Besides, Obama doesn’t need to interject Trump into the conversation to draw a contrast, mainly because Trump keeps interjecting himself, with every lame ass tweet, and word out of his filthy sewer hole.
The mechanics are actually very simple, and the contrast automatic. Trump is trying desperately to rile up his base. BFD, Trump does that on an almost daily basis with his tweets, and with his persistent self gratification rallies. And the Democrats really don’t need Obama to rile up the base, they’ve been quite riled up since January 21, 2017. Who Obama is trying to rile up is the normally lethargic and disinterested voting population, the ones who “took a chance” on Trump, but are disappointed and disillusioned, and he’s doing it in the best possible way, by largely non confrontational comparison. All he has to do is to walk out on stage and open his mouth, and it says, “Hey! Remember when a President could speak in coherent sentences?” And even more importantly, Hey! Remember what it’s like to have a President who actually knows how to smile, and make us smile too?” America needs the mere presence of Barack Obama right now the way a degenerate gambler needs a long shot to come through. He’s literally popcorn for the national soul.
And here’s why Obama is going to be so deadly for the GOP in these midterms. Just look at the rally he held in California. In that one rally, Barack Obama spent more time talking about each of the seven candidates running for office individually than Trump has about all of the candidates he’s stumped for combined! Obama is making it about the candidates, while Trump is making it about himself. Which is perfect, since Trump may think he’s great for the GDP, but for the GOP, he’s a living nightmare. Besides, a cable pay channel already has a series called “Buyers Remorse.”
So, Donald Trump is finally going to get the chance to go mano-a-mano with Barack Obama. And if we keep our heads in the game, in another 55 days it’ll be another trip to bankruptcy court for Donald Trump. But at least he’s already got his excuse all worked out, “It was those fucking Russians again!”
A note from the author: If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy my books, including the brand new President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange. Get them at Amazon: