Man, I just love the labor laws in Florida. No-show jobs, piles of cocaine, and just showing up to a Matt Gaetz fundraiser will get your rent paid — if we are to believe Joel Greenberg’s accounting notations and evidently nobody does, certainly not the auditors, one of whom said, “I have no idea what they were doing. And employees wouldn’t know what they were doing. Totally a no-show job,” [Daniel] O’Keefe said. “There’s no work product, no evidence work was done. It’s just unbelievable.”

Wellll, there’s no evidence of “work” being done, per se, but there was plenty of evidence of a quid pro quo relationship. There were the 40 women, who

received hundreds of dollars at a time for memo items such as “salad,” “lemons,” and “ass,” according to financial records. The Daily Beast spoke to 12 of those women, who all said the payments were at least in part because Greenberg intended to have sex with them.

Interesting grocery list, huh? “Honey, we’re having guests so be sure to get salad and lemons, oh, and don’t forget to get plenty of ass. I thought I might freeze some.”

Megan Zalonka was the mystery employee of Joel Greenberg’s and she also has been seen in public with Matt Gaetz, when she became the spokesperson for a medical marijuana group, which has all the earmarks of being a money laundering sham.   Daily Beast:           .

Zalonka, who is an amateur fashion model and the communications director for the American Medical Marijuana Physicians Association, received $4,000 on Venmo from Greenberg during his first year in office in 2017—mostly in $500 installments. And Greenberg, who is married, listed various explanations for why he paid Zalonka. In the memo fields of his Venmo payments, he paid her $500 for “Stuff,” another $500 for “Orher stuff” [sic], and $1,000 for “Pool.” On a single day in November, he paid her $500 for “Food” and another $500 for “Appetizers.”

Must have smoked a lottt of pot to get that hungry. Damn.

But Zalonka’s interactions with Greenberg in 2017 morphed into a business relationship with the air of legitimacy. In December of that year, she was in close communication with him as she created her own company, MZ Strategy Group LLC, according to emails between Greenberg and Zalonka that were viewed by The Daily Beast. The next month, Greenberg awarded her a county contract, agreeing to pay her $3,500 a month for “management of digital content” and “production of social media engagements.”

That was the no-show job, funded by taxpayers. It’s one of many things that are set to blow sky high on Monday.

Federal investigators are exploring Greenberg’s alleged role as the congressman’s go-to contact for arranging paid sexual encounters, according to three sources with direct knowledge of the probe. Greenberg is slated to plead guilty on Monday six felonies and is expected to cooperate as a witness against his former friend. […]

Zalonka’s interactions with Greenberg’s circle extended to Gaetz as well. In mid-2018, Zalonka became a spokesperson for the American Medical Marijuana Physicians Association (AMMPA), a cannabis legalization group with close ties to Gaetz. The congressman was feted as a guest of honor at two of its conferences in 2018, and attended the previous year’s annual conference in October. The 2017 conference, which Greenberg also attended, featured Republican operative and Trump loyalist Roger Stone, who appeared at a Gaetz fundraiser after the congressman’s keynote speech. That day, Oct. 5, Greenberg used Venmo to send Zalonka $500 around midday—for “Rent.”

Other AMMPA officials have close ties to Gaetz and Greenberg. In Gaetz’s book, Firebrand, published last September, the congressman singles out executive director Savara Hastings and her boyfriend, AMMPA chairman Jason Pirozzolo, as some of his “best friends.” Gaetz also says he has spent New Years Eve with the couple in the Florida Keys, and he has posted Instagram pictures featuring Hastings in Pirozzolo’s private plane as far back as 2014.

Investigators with the Justice Department’s Public Integrity division are now examining Gaetz’s interactions with young women and cannabis industry contacts, CNN reported, as part of a probe into whether Gaetz was provided with sex from escorts in exchange for political favors. The sprawling criminal inquiry that originated with Greenberg has since morphed into an investigation into Gaetz’s role in an alleged prostitution ring that includes potential sex crimes with a 17-year-old girl.

The probe could soon have a valuable new asset if Greenberg finalizes a cooperation agreement that could turn him into a government witness against Gaetz and others. While Greenberg was out on release during his final months of the Trump administration, he wrote a confession letter that said he saw acts “occur first hand” involving Gaetz and the underage teen.

It’s the weekend before the canary sings. What should Matt Gaetz do now?

  1. Go out in the Everglades and live with the alligators;
  2. Go charter a boat and hope he winds up in the Bermuda Triangle and vanishes;
  3. Go help Donald Trump pack for New Jersey and climb into a golf bag;
  4. See if he can find a witch doctor to make a voo doo doll of Greenberg and stick pins in its throat so it can’t talk;
  5. Something else, see my comment below.

Poor Matt, the Gaetz of Hell yawn before him. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of room in the Bed One Has Made with those other fellows, birds of similar plumage, Harvey Weinstein and Rudy Giuliani.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. Here’s my fantasy on what happens when formal charges are filed, or Gaetz’s lawyers have learned they are about to be filed (so they can negotiate his surrender). Gaetz decides he’s screwed and that this time daddy can’t protect him so he decides to flee. He books himself a ticket for a non-extradition country. I don’t think Russia or China would allow him in – the headaches wouldn’t be worth it for what he might have to offer them as far as screwing with our policy. Ukraine would be too iffy a proposition although Belarus might take him. They, along with perhaps UAE could help him find the kind of women he likes – I don’t think he’d be happy or at least would quickly get bored with darker skinned south Asian women in some of the countries he could flee to. Anyway, so as not to call too much attention to himself he’d make some attempt at disguise and travel in coach or perhaps business class rather than first class which would for him suck but his main concern would be getting out of dodge.

    The feds of course would be keeping an eye on him, and allow him to board the plane. They’d let things get to the point where the doors are closed and sealed and the pilot announces departure and begins to taxi. That would be to establish beyond any doubt that Gaetz was flying away. The plane would be ordered to return to the gate and when the door is opened the agents come in and slap the cuffs on him and LOUDLY announce “Matt Gaetz – you are under arrest” and read him his rights. After a pause so people could whip out their cell phones to record the moment and his awkward perp walk down a tiny aisle in front of all those people. And think of all the people in the airport itself who would have learned via breaking news on the TV screens and social media as they played with their phones and laptops in waiting areas that Gaetz was being arrested. They too could record that long, long perp walk out to the front of the terminal!

    Of course, Gaetz could try booking a chartered flight but still if the feds were keeping tabs on him they could still keep the plane from taking off. But a lot of charter companies and pilots would be leery of the publicity they’d get over helping Gaetz escape so that might not be as easy to arrange as he’d imagine.

    Anyway, it’s a fun prospect to contemplate.

  2. Agnew, DeJoy, Trump, Gaetz and former Republican employers of mine all had not so creative ways to cover up illegal payments. Republicans may not be smart crooks, but they sure are prolific.

  3. The Feds make him a deal to turn States evidence against Trump and then on other Congress people involved in the whole sordid mess.

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